Saturday, March 8, 2014
“You two sound cuckoo.” BSC #27: Jessi and the Superbrat (1989)
This is a short one, not because the book is awful, but because I’m reading while battling a respiratory infection and going on thirty-six hours with no sleep.
Before I start, two things. 1) Does anyone know if Stoneybrook High School has an established mascot? I seem to remember one but can’t recall what it was.
2) I nearly wrote Superbra instead of Superbrat a few times while writing this. Jessi and the Superbra might have been more interesting.
Jessi’s star-struck when she discovers that one of the stars of Becca’s favorite television show, Derek Masters, lives in Stoneybrook when he’s not working in L.A. (or as Becca calls it, L.P.) Coincidentally—or not so much, for a BSC book—the Masterses come back to Stoneybrook shortly thereafter. Jessi’s hired for a bunch of jobs with Derek and his little brother and discovers that Derek’s having a hard time fitting back in. The girls are all star-struck and the boys make fun of him. He mentions one particular boy, whom Jessi calls the Superbrat, who does a bunch of nasty things to him. Claudia helps him make friends and, just before he moves back to L.A., Derek admits that the Superbrat never existed—all the things he said the brat did, Derek actually did to other boys in the class.
Meanwhile, Derek tells Jessi she could be a model and actress, so she actually looks into getting an agent while in the midst of auditioning for Swan Lake. But when she gets a part, she realizes that ballet is her real love.
The cover of this book cracks me up. All four of the boys (presumably Derek and the Pike triplets) are seriously disturbing in appearance, and Jessi’s proportioned like a flat-chested Barbie: her head is too tiny for her body, while her legs are super long. And let’s not even talk about the awesome outfit. (She’s trendy Kristy—in jeans, turtleneck and sweater/sweatshirt.) Also, why does everyone have their own birdie? That’s not how badminton is usually played…
Weird! When I went looking for this cover online, I found one where they had redone Jessi’s face so that she looks like does in the much later covers. But they didn’t change anything else. She looks closer to 11 than thirty that way though.
I think that of all the characters in the books, I was the most like Becca when I was growing up. I was all quiet and shy around strangers, and a loud nutcase at home. Oh, and I had giant crushes on television stars…only mine were on Steve Burton and Shemar Moore. Yummy.
Jessi keeps confusing Derek with his brainiac character, Waldo, to the point that she thinks that he might be able to help her with her sixth grade science homework.
Mallory suggests a television show: Babysitter for the Stars. A) That sounds like something Kristy would come up with…and then actually try to pitch to a network and B) Didn’t that air on some cable network sometime in the last ten years?
At one point, Jordan is spelled as Jordon.
Ugh, Karen. Say no more.
Okay, say more. Jessi says Karen chews on life the way a puppy chews on a slipper. That’s…both accurate and hilarious. She leaves behind a hot mess when she’s done.
Why the &$^! would Kristy tell Karen that there’s a celebrity in Stoneybrook? Even at six, she’s the type who would stalk someone. Plus, she thinks she’s going to be the next star. We all know the only thing Karen could star on would be an obnoxious reality show. Oooh, I’m thinking of a fanfic where Karen is one of the contestants on The Bachelor. (I will not actually be writing it…the most Karen is allowed to show up in my stories is as a mention, and even then, just about everyone has to be disdainful of her.)
I always wonder why Kristy agrees to let Hannie and Amanda come over at the same time when she knows the two of them just argue all the time.
Then again, I always wonder why ANYONE wants to spend time with Karen. She’s bossy, rude, bratty and self-centered. And those are her better points.
Jessi: I can’t get all my hair to stay in the elastic, Daddy. Mr. Ramsey: Did you try gluing it? (And then he offers to shave her head to solve the problem. Can he be my dad?)
Claudia spelling: meen (and that’s her third try!), realy, nise, Derich, reelly, whent, Derick, frends, fingirs. And of course, she writes the entry because she’s…babbysitting!
Ooh, Mary Anne forgot to write down a job! Shocking!
Mrs. Masters is NOT good at keeping a secret. The BSC hosts a surprise party for Derek before he leaves, and Mrs. Masters keeps not-so-subtly asking Jessi if they need more items for the party. It reminded me of when I taught school and my students and I threw a surprise party for our paraprofessional. The kids kept saying things like, “Miss, what kind of cake do you like to eat at parties?” (The title quote is Derek’s response to the conversation.)
You got to wonder why the Masterses even bother coming and going from Stoneybrook. Wouldn’t it be easier on Derek and Todd (and their parents as well) if they just moved to L.A. until Derek was done? If he plans to be a working child actor, it seems to be pointless.
Remember when cereal boxes had prizes in them?
Eight year old Derek has better spelling than Claudia.
Claudia: pink t-shirt, red skirt, black footless tights
Derek and Todd Masters (8 and 4)—33 and 29
Next week: Yay, it’s super special time!