"It's called the Stoneybrook Examiner, even though I don't think it examines very much." BSC Friends Forever Special #2: Graduation Day (2000)

The final BSC book...sigh.
There are several threads going through this book at the same time. Obviously, our eighth graders are finally graduating. They are given a project that all eighth graders get at SMS: they are to write themselves letters that will be mailed back to them in four years when they graduate high school. The BSC also decide to help create a time capsule that will be opened in seven years when their oldest sitting charges graduate high school.
Meanwhile, each girl has her own drama:
Claudia, in traditional Claudia style, is worried about passing math...but flunks science instead.
Stacey learns that she can't graduate unless she returns a library book that she doesn't even remember borrowing. She also worries about her Mom, Dad and Samantha all coming to graduation together, although that fear turns out to be irrational.
Mary Anne decides she needs to talk to Logan to get a little more closure on their break up.
Kristy isn't ready to let go of SMS, or the BSC...despite the fact that her other friends are all talking about new opportunities and fresh starts.
Interesting Tidbits
The cover. Why is there a different Claudia on this one? Could they not get the girl who'd been on the other covers? Very distracting.

Like the first SS, the chapters are not numbered. There's a reason for it this time, though, so that they can toss in little short chapters from various other characters. These chapters are all handwritten and cover people's entries into the time capsule. There are entries from the current BSC members, ex-BSC members, and clients.
In her very first journal entry, Kristy wonders if it's possible to have a do-over at eighth grade. Like she hasn't done that enough times already!
Where is Boiceville State? Is that a real school? It's where Charlie (allegedly) wants to go to college. (It doesn't appear to be real, but there is a real Boiceville, NY, which is just outside of Ithaca.)
Did anyone go to a school where middle school graduation was such a big deal that they actually sold memory boxes for them? I can see Mary Anne wanting one, but it seems ridiculous. To be fair, I grew up in a place where the whole school district was two buildings: K-6 and 7-12. There was no middle school graduation ceremony, just a year end dance and field trip.
Stacey's dad's email handle is bigdad. I'm picture him weighing 300lb now. (Bigdaddy would have been funnier, or olddad.)
"Can you believe Charlotte will be in fourth grade next year?" Umm, she skipped a grade. She's already in fourth grade. (That's one on-going flaw that really annoys me.)
Claudia IM spelling (lol): assinment, myslef. She also uses your for you're and its for it's. Normally, this wouldn't be too noticable, but Stacey types in complete sentences with proper grammar and no txt speak.
This sounds like me. Claudia contemplates writing her letter to herself. Two hours later, she's got "Dear Claudia," and chosen a font. I once spent two hours setting up my work space and fudging the margins, font size and line spacing on my computer before starting a research paper. (Did you know that if the assignment is 10 pages, 10pt font, single spaced, with 1" margins, you can cut a whole paragraph or more off the paper by making it 10.5pt font, 1.2 space, 1.1" margins? And it doesn't really look any different? College: where you learn how to cheat...)
Mary Anne is actually the one who comes up with the BSC time capsule--or, as she calls it, a neighborhood time capsule. Well, Vanessa says the words 'time capsule' first, but why would she want to make a BSC capsule? Kristy points out that they used to do stuff like the time capsule all the time, like those were the good old days instead of the insane, unrealistic plotline days.
Claudia email spelling: Mary ann, aftrenoon, realy, cant, tomorow, Maryanne, nervouse. She also uses grate for great and finale for final. (Some of this could just be typos rather than spelling, but it's Claudia.)
Hmm. Claudia and Stacey are emailing/IMing each other and others for all their chapter openers, but MA and Kristy are just writing in their diaries/journals. And while I can list a bunch of people's email addresses (Ethan's is MRDALI), I don't think I have one for either Kristy or MA. I can't believe Kristy doesn't have her own email handle.
So what goes into the time capsule? Mary Anne: a piece of burnt wood from her old house. Mal: a chamber of commerce brochure. Jackie: a softball to represent Kristy's Krushers. Jessi: an article about racial intolerance (hate to break it to her, but 16 years later, that still exists.) Kristy: BSC flier--of course. Abby: photo album of BSC members, club clients and important places. Stacey: flier from one of the BSC events. Claire: her teddy bear (she later gets him back). Dawn: pages from the newspaper. Claudia: Stoneybrook 250th birthday flier on which she did the artwork. Charlotte: elementary school newspaper with an article she wrote.
There's this whole Charlie subplot in this book, which loops back around to FF#1. He didn't get around to applying to schools until it was too late to get into anything but smaller state schools, so he's accepted into Boiceville State (which apparently is somewhere he can commute to, but he wants to live in the dorms.) He's planning to transfer to UCLA for his second year. Kristy points out that UCLA is "near Dad", but Patrick is in Sausalito, in northern CA. He's probably six hours from Los Angeles. By Kristy's argument, Charlie would still be "near Dad" at the University of Washington, or Idaho, or even Kansas...
Heh. Stacey actually pictures her mom and Samantha getting into a Jerry Springer-style brawl at graduation. She doesn't give her parents much credit, does she? If they can't be adult, they don't sit together and they avoid each other's company. Simple as that.
After Stacey finds out she owes a library book, she writes this letter to herself: "Dear Stacey, I am thirteen years old, and I am an idiot. Love, Stacey." Not only do I absolutely love that, but I can't help but think...since she's finally graduating, shouldn't she have been allowed to have a fourteenth birthday? It's June, and Stacey was born in April.
Abby's photo album of the neighborhood is pretty BSC-biased, but my favorite part is the picture of Claudia's bedroom. She included it au natural, including a pair of Claudia's underwear hanging out.
I love that Claudia got a D+ on her science experiment. I know that sounds cruel, but hang on a moment. She did a "does music effect plant growth?" project that was worth 25% of her grade. That is the same exact project Charlotte Johanssen did for the science fair...and she's in elementary school. I think the teacher took some pity on her because she followed (or at least tried to follow) the proper procedure and that's why she didn't fail. (Isn't there an episode of the Cosby Show with basically the same plot? Vanessa put together a very elementary school science project and got a bad grade on it because of her age...)
It's too delicious that Stacey included a neighborhood talent show flier for the time capsule. I can't remember what book that was offhand, but I very distinctly remember that Stacey and Claudia snarked at each other about all the acts. Stacey's description of the event includes the fact that Buddy Barrett showed off tricks Pow could do, but if I remember correctly, he claimed he was a lion tamer. The title quote from my entry on that was Stacey asking why he was wearing a Cub Scout uniform if he was a lion tamer. (It was #54.)
In Dawn's letter for the time capsule, she notes that all of the stores in the ads in the newspaper will probably still be around. One of the stores was Merry Go Round, a real store which the BSC always shopped at--but which went out of business in 1996.
More Claudia spelling: yourslef, flyer, brithday, celabration, yars, histary, poeple, gong (going), specail, stateue, enormus, flots (floats), elementry, librery, Stoneybrok, roll (role), revalutonary, originale, undergrond, capsole, celebraton, famouse.
Charlotte says she's nine in this book. Maybe she just had her birthday? Way back in #3, she said her birthday is in June, when this book takes place.
In many ways, the letters from the girls to their older selves are summaries of their major plotlines throughout the series, but also a little glimpse to the future. Stacey wonders whether she'll still be friends with her BSC friends by the time she reads the letter in four years. Mary Anne feels that she's a lot stronger than she used to be and is ready to take control of things. She's excited about starting over in high school. Claudia is more focused on her art and poor grades than her friends, which could be from a combination of worry and hope about the future--but not about whether her friends will be there for her. Kristy's concerned about the fact that the club seems to be slipping out of her grasp. She acknowledges that it's more important to her than it is to her friends, but can't understand why.
Putting those into perspective is Charlie's letter from four years before. I LOVE this. It's all about how his dad leaving changed his life, but despite the fact that having to play daddy to his younger siblings wasn't fun, he liked the fact that it made him more responsible. He wished that by the time he reads the letter again, his mom will be happy (she is), they won't have to pinch every penny (they don't) and Kristy won't take herself so seriously (still working on that one.)
I'd forgotten this bit! When I wrote a fanfic of the triplets graduating high school/going off to college, Byron points out to Adam that they forgot to dig up the BSC time capsule. Adam tells him that, several years before, he, Jordan and Jeff tried to find the capsule and dig it up early, but they couldn't follow the map they'd drawn. I'd just put that in for humor. There's actually a moment, though, at the burial, where Nicky suggests that same thing to Vanessa.
I gave up on Claudia's spelling during her final letter. Oh, I know, so close to the end...I should just go ahead and do it. You talked me into it. Here are the ones I don't remember already chronicling in this entry: Yourslef, stoping, desided, frist, intersting, narow, kindergraten, picturs, freinds, are (our), thier, familys, questoin, waht, improtant, projict, panting (painting), ilustrating, illustatted, newslitters, flys, surprized, musums. Then she writes an email to Stacey about Garduation which includes: beleive, exited (excited). She even hangs a Happy Garduation sign at her grad party.
A middle school valedictorian? Really?
All the girls are discussing who they want to be when they 'grow up,' like Kristy not wanting to get married but thinking of adopting a whole house full of kids, while Dawn doesn't think she wants kids at all. And several of the girls aren't sure what they want to do.
The end up making a pact to meet in 12 years, all eight of them, no matter where they are. I bet, if they were real, they'd mostly stay in touch but not be as close as they are at this moment. In high school, they'll discover that it's okay to have more than one group of friends--okay to be a jock and a theater junkie, or a star student and a cheerleader, or artsy and into community service. Or that it's okay to have friends who don't like one another.
FIN.

"Maybe he's going through that male midlife crisis thing really, really early." Babysitters Club Friends Forever Super Special #1: Everything Changes (1999)

Did you guys miss me? I had the previous entries all written back in August and promised myself I'd publish them all. And then...I forgot! I took a month off and didn't think BSC at all. I was a little too busy....

Me and the new hubby with my niece, the Nugget

This book is written all in diary entries, letters and emails. Like an original-series super special, the chapters alternate, this time between the four original BSC members. 
For the month of June, the four girls (plus Abby) are all supposed to be out of town. Kristy, Abby and Mary Anne are to be CITs at Camp Mohawk, while Stacey is with her dad in NYC and Claudia's family is on a small island off the coast of Maine. A variety of different plots overlap. Among other things, Logan, Shannon, Abby and Jessi all drop out of the club for personal reasons, leaving just these four.
Kristy: Goes to camp and enjoys spending time with Abby at first. Freaks out repeatedly about people dropping out of the club.
Mary Anne: Decides not to go to camp while everything is up in the air. Worries about Logan, who is smothering her, and whether her dad will take the job in Philly (spoiler alert--he doesn't.)
Claudia: The Kishis are on an island with no telephone or television, but everyone is sneaking technology time when the others aren't looking. She and Janine bond over it a little and she finds artist inspiration. And meditates.
Stacey: Fights with her dad about Ethan and about him wanting to move his girlfriend in. At the same time, they each find the other's interests boring and wind up.
Interesting tidbits
The cover. Three out of four of these girls look pretty much the way I'd expect them to look in 1999.

Kristy writes like she's in a hurry. She skips the 'I' or 'it' at the beginning of any sentence that would normally start with one: Am inspired by Mary Anne and all she's been through. Will be so great to go to camp again. She also refers to her friends in short hand. MA. A. St. Cl.
Mal is apparently spending the summer writing a book. It's about a fifteen year old selectively mute boy, and his best friend who just wants more out of her life than she's currently getting. Oh wait. No, that's my 'book.'
Also, Kristy mentions not having spoken to Shannon for a while. That's interesting to me. I mean, they don't have much in common; I've always thought that Shannon would be better friends with Stacey, or even Cokie and her friends.
Claudia writing letters equals...lots of Claudia spelling! Thier, vacasion, dood (dude), dont, barbados, speling, coste (coast), peopel, belive, poepal (people...she has real trouble with that one), sumer, minniture, defanitely, worthwile, freinds, bordom, electrisity, computter, metropolitin, musum, postcad, detale. She also uses its for it's, exited for excited, cost for coast, and too for to. There may have been more, but it was three whole pages of Claudia spelling--luckily not in her handwriting--and some of them washed right past me.
Two most interesting things from the first Claudia chapter. She wants Stacey to go to the top of the World Trade Center for her. This was 1999, so okay on that one. Second, she says she's never been stranded on an island before. But she has. And a lot less civilized one at that. I don't know how she could forget that one!
Kristy wonders if Abby will survive camp because she's freaking out over the packing list ("Why do we need bug spray?"), but shouldn't she be more concerned with the fact that Abby is allergic to everything? Camp=woods=pollen=allergy-riffic.
Mary Anne is feeling 'cross' about the Logan situation. How very British of her.
Obviously, Jessi drops out of the BSC because of ballet. This is the part that gets me, though. Suddenly, a ballet school on par with the one she almost went to in NYC is opening in Stamford. RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. I know if I were about to open a world-class dance school, a small town in Connecticut would be my first choice, too.
More Claudia spelling. Mornig, Mary Ann, shes, Main (Maine), yisterday, actualy, realy, didnt, contane, havent, restrants, fetures, shoping, youve, butons, perchases, souvenears, disconts, purchise. She usues bake for back, hear for here, grate for great, are for our, diner for dinner, Been for Bean (the LL kind), pares for pairs, role for roll and your for you're. The most interesting thing is how she writes the Main (heh) town names: Free Port and Port Land instead of as single words. She actually gets Freeport right a few times and writes it as freeport once. Oh, and you guys know I love it when Claudia tries to spell a word a couple of times and then just gives up. She's done that a couple times so far, with fettuccine (to be fair, I tried to spell it fetachini, so I sympathize) and brochure.
Oh, and Claudia is obsessed with detailing how many lobster foods she eats. Two days into the trip and she's eaten two lobster meals, one of them at McDonalds. (I can confirm that in the 90s, you could get lobster rolls in New England McDonalds. I was actually eating them in Rhode Island, so you'd think Claudia would have been less surprised.)
Ooh, Stacey name-drops Chelsea Clinton, who would have been 19 at the time the book was written. (She's one year older than I am, to the day.) It makes me wonder whether this Cowgirl Hall of Fame is a real place, like how Stacey and Claudia are obsessed with the Hard Rock Cafe. It is! And, Google confirms that Chelsea Clinton did actually have her birthday party there 'many moons ago.'
Stacey's so bored in NYC that she's needlepointing. I can't see it. Maybe she should just go out and make some non-Ethan friends.
Ha! Kristy is the only Thomas-Brewer kid going to camp this summer, so Karen and David Michael keep saying she's spoiled. It's actually quite realistic, but more annoying that Kristy usually finds them.
Abby and Kristy's campers: Marcia (mar-see-ah), Kate, Harmoni, Rachel, Jenna, and LaVonne. The book is dedicated to AMM's new goddaughter, Harmoni, so that's where that name came from. The girls are all listed with last names as well, which makes me think they were all named after someone. But what I find most interesting is that, last time camp was mentioned, every one of the CITs (except, I think, Dawn), had at least one girl from Stoneybrook in their cabin. I'm mentally scanning them in my mind; Stacey had Karen; Mary Anne, Margo and Nancy; Claudia, Vanessa and Haley. Kristy had eight year olds that time as well, and she had Charlotte and Becca in her cabin. This time, not a single name is a familiar one.
I'd forgotten how much foreshadowing of the Mary Anne-Logan break up there was in this book. I know FF#1 is mostly in California, but I haven't read #2 yet. I bet it's the same way.
Claudia: expeted, beleve, theres, isnt, dont, gidebooks, geting, fery, becuase, lot's, finaly, strate, befor, wethered, shingels, yeard (yard), prety, steped, litle, waht, scatered, minature, docter, grocerys, supplis, listan, exitment. She also uses form for from, trials for trails, and hole for whole.
Claudia's reaction to the lack of things to do on her island? "Maybe I'll go start a fight over what to listan [sic] to on the radio." I suddenly love her.
Ethan refers to the couches in shopping centers as 'Guy Couches': they are where the men who humor the women in their lives by shopping with them plop when they're tired of shopping. Stacey keeps using it as a proper noun.
Ethan is reading Of Mice and Men.
Kristy says Abby loves camp, and then proceeds to say that Abby spends most of her time complaining about her allergies and the bugs. But there's a lot of competition, which she loves. And for some unknown reason, she likes camp food. Has anyone had Abby tested for brain damage?
More spelling: Finaly, wouldnt, waht, alot, arent, realy, theres, migt, meditat, brout, meditatting, Ill (I'll), certin, beleve, spoilled, bordom. She uses your for you're
Claudia's book for the summer: A Wrinkle in Time and Little Women.
I'm trying to keep a time table for this. Kristy's first entry is dated June 25, while MA's first, the second chapter*, is more specific: Sunday, June 27. (In 1999, when this book was written, June 27 was actually a Sunday.) Some of the entries are just dated "Monday", but then the actual date is confirmed an entry or two later, by someone else. Following the rest of the chapters up to this Claudia chapter...Claudia leaves for her trip on Satruday (I have not been looking at dates until this point, so I didn't notice that), which must be July 3. She left the day before, while Abby and Kristy leave for camp on July 3. Claudia writes to Stacey on July 9, when she lets her know she's still eating lobster every day. Claud has her priorities straight.
*The chapters are not numbered, which is driving me INSANE.
Humorously, Claud and Stacey are writing each other letters too close together. This happened to a friend and me....it's pretty realistic, too. They're both bored, so the letters they're sending are so close in time that they're asking questions the other has already answered.
Heh. I love this. Ethan's 'older' friend's parents were out of town, so he threw a party. Yep, Stacey went to a raging kegger and got drunk and puked on Ethan's shoes. Just kidding of course; this isn't the California Diaries. The party was 10 kids drinking coffee and reciting poetry.
Kristy keeps talking about how much she likes Abby...as the two of them are arguing and one upping each other.
Stacey's dad actually faxes her a memo. This is funny to me on so many different levels. He requests a meeting with her, and when he shows up fifteen minutes late, she points out that she was on time, and then asks if she should take notes.
Claudia spelling is very hard to keep up with this time, so I'm just trying to find new ones I haven't already noticed. Limelite, he', fornt (front), desided, iland, broshure, imagin, hapen, carful, slipery, falen, belowe, describ, neddles, misterious, streek, disapear, crewel (cruel). Funniest part, though? Ethan's friend who had the party was Tomas, and Claudia tells Stacey that she thinks she (Stacey) spelled that wrong.
Mary Anne's grandma Baker travels with more luggage than Stacey. Obviously we find out that this is stuff mostly for MA--memories of her mother to replace the ones that were lost--but it doesn't bode well for the itsy bitsy rental house the Spiers are living in.
The title quote is Kristy's take on Logan. She then says, "I don't want to be really pushy, but I am..." and gives MA advice.
Okay, we all knew it was coming, but Claudia didn't spell Stacey's name wrong until page 80, almost halfway through the book. She also uses whanted, bord and lonly.
Kristy sums up the BSC in one, half-page long paragraph, but didn't even mention a single ridiculous large group activity. Hearing all the life changes put down in one place makes it even more ludicrous that the past nearly-two hundred books occurred within two school years. I always use Dawn as an example: How could her parents get divorced, both get remarried and her father have a baby during this time frame?
Kristy's been taking Claudia lessons. When Jessi confirms that she is dropping out of the BSC, Kristy attempts to alleviate her depression...by eating some candy.
Interestingly, when the girls write letters, they only send them to their besties. Wouldn't Claudia, who's bored witless at this point, send a letter to Mary Anne or Kristy? I mean, I guess Stacey and MA could be talking on the phone on occasion, since they're not what in Quinn Morgendorffer would call 'uncivilization,' but no mention is made of it.
HAHA! Stacey's dad and Samantha have decided to live in sin. It's so...un-BSC-like.
Janine snuck her laptop into her luggage with her. It's not stated as such, but Claudia basically blackmails her sister: Let me borrow your computer or I'll tell mom and dad. Actually, Janine thinks Claudia will blackmail her, so she offers in advance of the blackmail. (BTW, their email handles are NYCGirl and CKishi. Either Stacey has been with her provider since pretty much the dawn of time, or her mom signed up with a small provider. I'm imagining her address is nycgirl@stoneybrookonline.com.)
More spelling: surprize, surprized, papperback, upstares, stamering, freinds, pertending. Brakes for breaks.
Kristy talking about a boy CIT: 'He was a very moist person.'
Shannon sighting! She, Mal and Jessi show up at MA's house to give her a scrapbook that she can use to start rebuilding her memories, whether in Stoneybrook or Philadelphia. But I feel like Shannon should be off at camp or something.
Lobster update: Claudia has eaten lobster now for 15 days straight. She's beaten my clam eating record, and I once had steamahhhhhhhs for an appetizer, clam chowder for my soup, and clam pasta for my meal....
Spelling: improtent, frige, develed, thermis (Thermos), forgoten, identafy, discribe, leter, Ethen, medcine cabinat, fairy, farry (both for ferry...), discoverd, exibit, ilustraited, studeos, speled, wonderfull.
I love that the authors set this whole thing up in this book that travels all through the FF series and is completely, utterly believable. Kristy gets so upset with Abby for dropping out of the club that she completely stops talking to her, despite saying how much she enjoyed her company in her last post. She keeps discussing how horrible it is that everyone wants to leave the club and what will become of it? And (total spoiler alert), in the final book, every member of the club says that they can't picture it continuing on into high school...except Kristy.
Mary Anne actually starts a journal entry "Good evening, diary." It's like the opposite of Kristy's journal, with the lack of unnecessary words.
Stacey's (surface) logic why Samantha can't move in with her father: not enough room in the medicine cabinet and closets. Even Claudia knows that isn't the whole story.
Claudia catches her mother reading a Harlequin Romance novel. I really think that Mrs. K can't say a whole lot about Claud's Nancy Drew habit after that.
More spelling: incredable, harlaquinn, cushin, alredy, remerber, hangars, cuaght, especialy, exitement, discovary, lattest, prepare, defyed, nervouse, expete, tallented, famouse, begining, distante, pated (patted), expresing herslef, matered, demonstratting, technikes, experament, beginers, frist, middel, mathodical, easles, purpal, realistacaly, experiance. She spelled Janine--which she wrote a lot--as Janin once. Oh and she wanted to pant like Salvador Dolly, so there's that.
When Grandma makes the presentation of Alma's things to Richard and Mary Anne, she makes sure to gather the whole family together. It had to be at least a little weird for her to meet Sharon--the new wife of her daughter's husband--but she's as much a part of the presentation as everyone else.
I just love when Claudia calls Stacey on her bullshit about why Samantha can't come in. All Stacey needs to do is say, "I don't feel comfortable with the idea of Samantha moving in. I don't feel like I know her well enough, and I need more time to get used to your relationship." But she's thirteen and may not even realize that's part of the problem.
Yet more Claudia. (If you haven't noticed, I'm combining several of these together. Some of her letters/emails are only a page or so long.) Gues, fell for feel, threw for through, arond, charcoles, rember, natur, recorde, nose for noise, allmost, afew, especally, encyclapodia, leve, evry, singel. She also writes "I'm am" at one point.
I love how, through all the books, one thing about Stacey is very consistent: She's very much her father's daughter. Stacey comes home late one time, and Ethan is two years older than she is. Her father's decision based upon just those two pieces of information: he's too old for Stacey and a bad influence. He makes a choice without getting to know Ethan at all. Later, when he wants to move Samantha in, Stacey...jumps straight to the decision that it's a bad idea, without thinking it over. During her fourteen allowed hours with Ethan, she tells him about the Samantha situation, and he tells her she's being ridiculous and has no valid reason to feel the way she feels. (Other than being a moody teenager). Dad's really surprised at how mature and sensible Ethan is. That's when he decides everyone needs to get to know each other better. (Duhhhhh.)
After Claudia catches her father watching the neighbor's television, she boasts that she's the only one who hasn't broken the rules. Except for, you know, emailing Stacey on Janine's computer. And reading a Nancy Drew behind a library book. And probably a few other things here and there....
I think it's funny that Marcia is Abby and Kristy's least favorite camper. Back when I was a CIT, there was a woman named Marcia (pronounced the Brady way, not mar-see-a) who would come and visit the camp every couple of weeks, gripe about something, and then leave...expecting us all to change everything.
You know Mary Anne's excited about moving into the Goldman's house because she writes an all-caps headline about it.
Two things I thought as the book ended. I really thought Stacey and Ethan were going to break up, so I guess that's just good foreshadowing, and more subtle than the Mary Anne-Logan break up that's completely written on the wall at this point. Second, the BSC members agree to step back, meet less often and sit less often. I'm not sure how that works--do they tell certain clients to find new sitters, or just have to turn down jobs when they're over booked?--but I know I like that there's less sitting, more realism in these final books.
I know you were worried, so not only does Claudia never break her lobster streak, but she also sends Stacey a lobstar [sic] postcard near the end of the book. This is my final treat to you. It's been playing in my head all through this book:

Next: FF #1

“Judging from that little belly of yours, you could take a tip from him.” BSC Super Special #14: BSC in the USA (1997)

Jack Schafer tries to take over Watson’s role as the cool BSC dad by agreeing to take Dawn, Jeff, and a couple friends across country in an RV. Watson, not to be outdone, decides to take the rest of the BSC along with Elizabeth, David Michael, Karen and Andrew. The groups take two different routes and meet in Palo City.

The Schafer-mobile takes the northern route and includes the following plotlines:

Dawn is a whiny brat, because she wants to see a ghost town and then is shocked to discover that it’s cheesy.

Jeff hates being surrounded by girls and goes rock climbing.

Mary Anne feels like Jack is picking on her by taking shots at Richard repeatedly, and meets her grandmother at the Mall of America.

Stacey meets up with Ethan (who?) in Seattle after a bunch of ridiculous hijinks.

Claudia fights with Stacey and is surprised that her favorite modern bands aren’t in the rock and roll hall of fame.

Kristy wants to go to as many baseball stadiums as possible, and runs into her dad in San Francisco.

Plus, each RV has group drama…this crew runs out of gas in the middle of the Badlands and has a run in with a bear.

Watson’s crew takes a southerly route and this happens:

Mallory gets emotional at Assateague Island after seeing the wild horses.

Abby convinces the kids (Karen, mostly) that Elvis is really alive, and then gets upset at the Grand Canyon.

Jessi inexplicably decides she wants to see the plantation where her ancestors were slaves.

Karen sulks because she almost doesn’t get to see her chosen landmark, while David Michael is shocked to discover that rodeos are inhumane.

This group experiences a tornado and keeps running into another RV with a girl the group finds really annoying.

Interesting Tidbits

The cover. Everyone looks really cute here, as opposed to the internal illustrations. (Most of them are okay, but a few are notably awful.)

The prologue is Dawn’s letter to Sunny, written across the course of a couple days. The only interesting part is that she lets Jeff write his commentary in between paragraphs. He suggests that Jack will be bringing the RV from Palo City, carefully stowed under his seat on the plane.

AWKWARD! The first real chapter starts when Jack Schafer shows up at the Spier household and eats breakfast with Sharon, Richard, and the three kids. He acts like an ass at the table, commenting on the food. It goes very badly until Dawn throws a bagel at Jeff and Richard winds up laughing. I think it was just nervous tension, because I can’t picture Richard thinking throwing food was actually funny.

Everyone gets to pick one place to go during the trip, and who goes in what RV is decided by that. Jessi, Abby and Mal go with the Brewers because their choices are in Mississippi, Tennessee and Virginia respectively. That’s how Kristy ends up in the Schafer RV even though her parents are in the other—there weren’t any ‘good’ baseball stadiums along their route. (Also, it’s not exactly fair that Kristy’s one place is ‘as many baseball stadia as possible.’)

Sam and Charlie aren’t going along because they’re going to camp. (Don’t the two of them usually get out of stuff by having to work?) And Nannie is staying home with Emily Michelle, because the Brewers figured out something my father never has: camping (even in an RV) with a two-year-old is a horrible idea.

I like this conversation:

Mary Anne: What does RV stand for, anyway?

Watson: Ridiculous vehicle.

Anyone surprised that Claudia packed three suitcases, including two down parkas, for a summer RV trip? Me neither. Moving on.

When mapping out the trips, Kristy has a Claudia moment. She says that Mallory wants to go to Chinkateeg. To be fair, I don’t know how to spell it either, and Kristy knows it’s wrong. Spell check got me Chincoteague after I tried to spell it twice.

Jessi says everyone loves the smell of fried chicken. Has she met Dawn? I’m sure Dawn doesn’t like the smell of fried chicken (even though she does eat chicken in some of the books.)

Jessi’s grandfather is Arthur Sr. and she has an uncle, Arthur Jr. (I also have a grampa Art and an uncle Artie.) But when she points to a family portrait from when her dad was growing up, it’s her dad, Aunt Cecelia, Uncle Arthur and Uncle John. Umm, what? Jessi’s father is John Phillip Ramsey Sr. Do they have two kids named John? Maybe his name is Alex in this book, like it was in SS #2. In #103, Jessi has an Uncle Charles, so I’m betting that’s who Uncle John is supposed to be.

Baseball stadia and teams that get name-dropped: Cleveland Indians, Jacobs Field; Wrigley Field; Milwaukee Brewers; San Francisco Giants, Candlestick Park.

I had completely forgotten about Ethan, whom Stacey met right as she was breaking up with Robert in book #99. I mean, that was more than 10 books ago, including one Stacey story and one Stacey mystery in which Ethan was mentioned exactly zero times.

For Kristy’s stadium fetish, she originally just insists upon getting a baseball cap at every stadium they pass. But when they arrive in Cleveland while a game is going on, they wind up watching it, and at least several others, along the way.

Oh, and Cleveland lost to the Red Sox, whom Stacey calls the ‘Boston Somethings.’ C’mon. I know she’s supposed to not enjoy sports, but really. The Red Sox are one of the best known teams out there; a lot of people who know nothing about baseball have at least heard of them. And then Stacey grew up in NYC, and anyone who has ever lived in or visited the Northeast knows about the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry.

The girl who annoys the stuffing out of Mal, Jessi and Abby along their trip is Liz, short for Felicitas. I remembered her being Karen-esque and thought she was Karen’s age, but Mal says she’s similar in age to her and Jessi.

Liz says that Assateague is a funny name, which kind of makes me laugh. She’s not allowed to explain why it’s funny—this is a BSC book, after all—but even a ten-year-old should be able to figure that out.

DM, regarding Liz: “She’s either a genius or a robot.”

When Mal finally sees the herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains, she gets all misty-eyed. (I’m just going to let that horse-book pun lie there.)

CLAUDIA SPELLING WOO-HOO! (Sorry; it’s a really long entry, wherein they go to the ‘Rockin Role Hall of fame.’) Exept, anthing, gess, groops, drov, thot, wer’e, cant, abot, dy, ofence, Shafer, Pitsberg. She also uses grate for great; afterword for afterward; ones for one’s; herd for heard; their for there and wile for while.

Claudia also says (spelling intact) that, now that they’re in Chicago, Kristy can’t stop talking about Wriggly Field and Stacy (yes, she spells her best friend’s name wrong, twice) can’t stop talking about Marshal Field. I was wondering whether Kristy would want to go to Wrigley Field or what was then Comisky Park (It was the ‘new’ Comisky, which is now U.S. Cellular Field.) And I remember all the controversy when Marshall Field’s was purchased by Macy’s.

There’s this ridiculous subplot in which Claudia grabs an open notebook, only to realize that it’s Stacey’s diary. So she shuts it, determined not to read it, and Stacey catches her and assumes she was actively reading it. They fight pretty much the entire rest of the trip. (Honestly, I’m surprised those two didn’t fight more often. I kinda loved that subplot in the FF series because it was so realistic.)

Abby spends the ride from Chincoteague to Memphis trying to convince everyone else in the RV that Elvis is still alive. (Her evidence: all those tabloid stories can’t be wrong!) She says that the Brewer adults barely tolerate her musings. Reminds me of how my dad always wanted to tell my friend Teah to shut up when she was spending the night at my house, but never did because she wasn’t his kid. (She would do things like yell EW! when she saw what we were eating for dinner, or make fun of whatever he was watching on television.) She gets so annoying that the Brewers actually drop the kids off at Graceland and refuse to go in with them.

Ha! Stacey has to find shopping everywhere they go, so she convinces everyone they have to go to Woodfield Mall. Woodfield’s not even that exciting, although we always used to drive there in high school…so we could go to Build a Bear, back when that was the only location in the area. (I can understand why she’d go to Water Tower Place, though.)

Mary Anne suggests that Jeff got his knack for really bad jokes from his father. Zing!

Remember when the BSC used to describe Dawn each book by saying she’s strong in her convictions, but she doesn’t lecture? Well, in this book, she lectures a man selling ‘stuffed animal entrails,’ AKA bratwurst.

I suddenly love Mary Anne’s grandma. Jack teases MA because she doesn’t like her seitan cutlet (seitan = wheat gluten, my mortal enemy), suggesting that she and Richard must eat a lot of red meat. Grandma responds with the title quote.

Jessi really wants to see where her family were slaves, even though her grandmother warns her against it. Yet when she gets there, she’s haunted by the images she sees of lynchings and other atrocities, and scoffs the idea that the Daltons, the plantation’s owners, were humane slave owners. Her argument is that they considered their slaves property and only gave them one name, so how humane is that? Of course, we all know that was normal at the time, and the humanity of a slave owner depended on things like how much they whipped their slaves and the like. Racism is a hard topic for a kids’ book, even one for middle grade readers like this. Say too much and you might scare them; say too little and they’re under-informed. This book tries to straddle the line by having Jessi get scared but not really letting the audience see what scared her.

What kind of numbnuts heads into the badlands without first checking the gas gauge? Jack Schafer, ladies and gentlemen (if any are reading this). My favorite part of this semi-realistic but still stupid plotline? Everyone is freaking out, and Jack tells them not to panic…while panicking. Yes, folks, do as I say, not as I do.

Mallory sums up one of her RV-mates in a single sentence: Abby, you are so weird. This is always the truth, but even more so when Abby is writing an entire notebook entry in cowboy vernacular.

Andrew and I are road-trip spiritual buddies. He starts asking “Are we in California yet?” in Arkansas. My dad used to force us to take three week car/camping road trips. My sister and I got sick of each other by day three, by day seven I’d have read all the books I brought with me and by day ten, I’d be sick of sightseeing. (My refrain all through a three-week trip through Eastern Europe was ‘I’m not looking at another church or castle,’ which drove my dad nuts because that’s largely all he wanted to see. That, and Auschwitz….) And I’m not even a four year old who can’t read a book/play a lot of the games kids play in cars.

Watson’s Baylor roommate, whom they visit in Oklahoma, is Chet Romney. And because it’s Oklahoma, they get caught in a tornado. Obviously, someone did a little research: the first hint that something is off is that Abby gets goosebumps on her arm and says all of her hair was standing on end. That’s actually all it takes to get the Romneys to turn on the radio and find out a tornado is coming. (That wouldn’t be enough for me, but that plus the sky turning green would be.) Abby describes the sound of the tornado as an approaching freight train. Think they watched the television special we used to watch in school every year, It Sounded Like a Freight Train?

Woot! More Claudia spelling! Nitime, midle, exept, cyoty (coyote), weerd, cant, disapeered, shoud, sleping, folowing, pepole. Oh, and Claudia’s afraid of gheeler monsters, which took me a while to decipher.

Dawn thinks coyotes are vegetarians. I’m not up on coyotes, but I’m pretty sure they’re scavengers and they eat meat. (Claudia suggests they should have kept a doggy bag of seitan to feed them…so that one of them doesn’t become first course.)

By the way, my spell check doesn’t think that seitan is a real word. Sort of like how Mary Anne didn’t think it was a real food!

Unfortunately, Jack Schafer finds a cop who brings him back to the RV. It would have been so much more entertaining if Watson and company arrived in Palo City and the other RV didn’t. Concerned about Kristy, Watson tracks the path the other RV was supposed to have taken on the way home. He finds it abandoned by the side of the road, with only one person inside. That person’s hair is white, and they keep rocking back and forth, saying the same thing over and over again. Someone else’s bones are found, scattered by coyotes. Rumors come to haunt the area that a ghost is often seen hitchhiking at that site. When people pick her up, she quotes baseball facts at them and then disappears the next time they drive by a stadium of any variety….

When they hit the rodeo, David Michael keeps shouting Yahoo! Karen corrects him, saying that cowboys say Yee-haw! I kept waiting for someone (Abby, most likely) to say Yippee-kay-yay-ay! or however you spell it, but sadly, it didn’t happen.

Jeff’s favorite things about the road trip? Getting a climbing lesson (lessen, as he spells it) at Grand Tetons, seeing the dig site at Mammoth, and, of course, getting stranded and thinking he was going to die. Priorities, that one.

And his least favorite part? Too many girls in his car. He says Dawn’s always been weird, and so are Claudia and Stacey, because they’re fighting. He says he actually likes Mary Anne but she’s been unfriendly on the car trip. (I’d really love more of Jeff’s perspective on Mary Anne, considering how odd MA feels about him. I mean, they’re technically related, but they haven’t really had too much of a chance to get to know each other.) He doesn’t mind Kristy, though, because they can talk baseball and she doesn’t tattle on him.

I like this bit of Jeff’s chapter, just because it’s accurate:” Dawn says the delay [of Old Faithful] is because of what people have done to the environment. But Dawn says that about everything.”

This is actually pretty clever on the whole behind-the-scenes-BSC crew’s part. I don’t know who came up with this idea, but it’s a good use of the massive BSC history. While driving through New Mexico, the Brewer RV sees a sign for Zuni, the town from #44. Since DM had a pen pal, they decide to go visit the town while they have the chance.

I would totally visit the Buzzard Gulch Haunted Village. I have a lot more fun looking at corny cheese (or cheesy corn) than I do looking at nature. No offense, nature.

Andrew: How did the desert get painted? DM: With a sagebrush! This is what happens when you contain people in an RV for too long.

O. M. G. I just realized something. Chapter sixteen is all about Dawn whining because Buzzard Gulch is too touristy. Chapter seventeen starts with Karen whining because her parents are trying to convince her to skip her choice of sites*. I’m totally picturing Karen growing up, getting contact lenses, growing her hair out longer…and being just like Dawn. Only instead of vegetarianism and the environment, Karen will totally be a grammar nazi. She could use those skills for good, by becoming the editor of the school paper and proofreading her classmates’ papers (for free or for a modest profit), but you know that won’t happen. I always imagined Dawn growing up and eventually mellowing out—spending a little time drifting or traveling, then working for a non-profit, or maybe even becoming a lawyer for environmental causes. Karen might someday outgrow her vision of the world as black and white—most kids her age do—but I suspect she’ll always be annoying and rub people the wrong way.

*I’m about to say something nice about Karen here; don’t panic. She’s not even all that whiny about what happens. Plus, I think it is completely unfair for the Brewers to try to talk Karen into another site. That’s the sort of thing that used to happen to me all the time when I was growing up, and I actually responded much the same way Karen did. She doesn’t actually argue; she contemplates choosing another destination, but having to give up her original choice makes her sad, so she cries silently. She doesn’t throw a fit or even make crying sounds. Elizabeth sees her quietly, sadly debating and they manage to fit her choice in.

Stacey’s adventure in Seattle is both dumb and predictable. Ethan is there for the summer, so the two plan to meet at a certain time on a certain day. Stacey remembers that it’s a coffee shop with a name like Corner Coffee, and it’s next to a park. Well, duh, this is Seattle in the 1990s. There was a coffee shop on every corner. (This is now true in almost every city, and every second or third one is a Starbucks. Mary Anne sees a Starthrower coffee shop, which I guess is the BSC version.)  Only there are four different coffee shops with similar names, plus Ethan changed the time and left her a message that she never got. So wackiness ensues, naturally.

But my favorite part of the whole event? Stacey’s all ready to see Ethan: she’s brushed her hair, straightened out her clothes, and put on her shoes. Right as she starts to leave, Kristy points out she has a Chunky wrapper stuck to her tush. I felt like Jeff: I laughed at the part that wasn’t really supposed to be funny.

Apparently, Stacey just needed to get kissed so she could get over her anger at Claudia. I won’t say what that has me thinking about her, because it’s really inappropriate.

Mary Anne did the same type of thing I did before I ever went to San Francisco: she read up on how to deal with earthquakes, so when the ground started rattling a little bit, she dove straight for a doorway. Of course, this just gave Jack another chance to make fun of her. She finally gets the balls to tell him that his comments hurt her feelings, which is awesome. Being MA, though, she doesn’t do it until he asks her if she’s having a good trip.

Jack admits that his teasing can be too much and that he’s sorry. The two of them are in a really weird situation, though. Think back to what I said about Jeff and Mary Anne; now take that a step further out. MA points out that the two of them are almost-family, but they aren’t actually related. (She ponders a name for their relationship, suggesting ‘Dad once removed.’) I really don’t blame Jack, Sharon and Richard for being all awkward when they’re in the same room earlier in the book. Mary Anne knows that Jack’s always been really nice to her, and no one else seems bothered by his teasing, but to be fair, he does tease her more than the others.

Liz from Chincoteague shows up briefly in the middle of the story in a notebook entry, but then she’s also at the San Diego zoo. What I love is that none of the kids is happy to see her. Not the BSC members, nor the little guys. She’s a know-it-all bitch who, among other things, talks down to DM and Karen, and is really rude to Andrew. To sum up the BSC members opinion of Liz:

            Liz: Why would parents do such a thing? [regarding animal parents who reject their babies]

            Abby (to Jessi): Maybe the same reason her parents left her with her grandparents.

Actually, the Liz thing reminds me of a little girl I once met. She was my dad’s best friend’s daughter. I was about BSC aged, and she was about Karen’s age. She was the whiniest, most spoiled brat I have ever met in my life, and she demanded I play all her games with her. After two hours of being ordered around, I told her I was done playing and went to try to read a book. She pulled the book out of my hands and hid it. (My mom had to ask her mother to give it back to me before we left.) She then proceeded to tell her mother that I was rude to her and boring and stupid and annoying…in front of me. I was so happy to leave their house, especially after I heard her say to my dad, “Someday, I want to come to visit you…after Teeki is married.” Liz annoys the poop out of the Brewer crew, and then Jessi catches her whining to her grandparents because the kids are boring and don’t know anything. They make their excuses and leave, making everyone happy.

I don’t know if this is a mistake on the part of the writers or if Kristy was so distracted that she made the mistake. In her notebook entry, she says the Brewers won the game at Candlestick Park where she ran into her father. But the game announcer says that the Giants were playing the Pirates, so I don’t think that’s true. (Kristy did go to the stadium and get a hat when they were in Milwaukee. She should have gotten several, to give to her mom and Watson. It would be appropriate…)

This is so Kristy. Her dad makes a small effort to talk with her when she locates him, but she doesn’t want to sit down and have a soda with him. She says they have to get back to Jack and Jeff, but really, she just wants to be the one to walk away from him this time.

OOH! There’s a picture in the final chapter, featuring the BSC, some of the kids, and the We Heart Kids Club. It’s actually accurate to the notebook entry as to who was talking to whom. Oh, and Abby, who is actually lip-synching Elvis in the picture, appears to have forgotten her pants. I really wish I could upload these drawings, because that part is funny, as is the picture of Kristy and MA in San Francisco. MA looks like someone mashed her face up flat.

Since Claudia had very little to do in this book, there’s an offhand comment about her buying a sketch in an ugly frame that looks like it’s inspired by Georgia O’Keeffe. Jack’s friend, the owner of the RV, sees it when Claudia is trying to remove the frame and agrees that it’s an O’Keeffe knock-off…until the frame comes off and it’s revealed to be an authentic O’Keeffe.

The book ends with a couple of WHKC comments, like how Jill is thirteen going on eleven. This to me is a lead up to the California Diaries books, which had already started to be published. Yet, Maggie’s hair is still all green and punk, while when the CD start, she’s got a blonde bob.

Of course, the epilogue is all letters. It includes the following spelling errors:

            DM: Romny (Romney), Lesster/Leter (Lester), leter, killd; youre for your, hear for here, rite for write, blue for blew

            Jeff: its for it’s, you’re for your

            Claudia: thot, alot, conversasion, generus, scetsh, evury, becuase, inspirred, feling, valuble, scetch, youll; its for it’s

My final super special, except the FFs ones.

Next: #111, also known as ‘Stacey tries to change someone to make her fit in instead of accepting her for who she is.’ Should be fun!

“Will you be eating the leaves raw or steamed for dinner tonight?” BSC Super Special #13: Aloha, Babysitters! (1996)

I’d make an aloha joke, but the title already did that. Obviously, the BSC—or at least, most of it—is on its way to Hawaii. It’s a super special, so we have to go down the checklist of things that all super specials are required to have:

1.    Point of view of random people that we don’t normally see? Check. We have a Robert chapter and a Logan chapter. After this book, Dawn chapters start to count as well.

2.    “Romantic” drama? Check. Logan and Mary Anne are trying a ‘separate but together’ thing that means that he is off with his other friends for most of the book while Mary Anne spends some time mooning about that.

3.    Some big event? Check. Stacey is in a helicopter crash of sorts. I was expecting something volcano-related, given how much super specials love acts of god. (Hurricanes, snow storms, and a tornado we still haven’t seen.)

4.    Babysitting, of course? Check. Mal and Kristy are sitting at home, while Mary Anne and Claudia sit in Hawaii.

Listy-goodness. Here’s what everyone is up to:

Jessi: the book is Jessi’s project for Mal, who doesn’t get to go to Hawaii. She spends the whole book recording everything and taking so many photos that she doesn’t even really have fun

Abby: gets to be in a commercial

Mary Anne: tries the TBI—Together But Independent—thing with Logan…by babysitting random Hawaiian children. She and Claudia seem to spend a lot of time together

Claudia: gets upset because she feels personally responsible for Pearl Harbor or something

Dawn: tries to clean up a random beach with the help of some more random Hawaiian children

Stacey: her helicopter goes down and she has to walk a long way to safety, without food. She winds up hospitalized

Mal and Kristy: stay home. A lady sees Mal dealing with a client’s tantrum and makes a big stink about her babysitting skills…until her own child throws a similar tantrum in Mal’s presence

Interesting Tidbits

The cover. Mary Anne’s shorts are…weird, and she seems concerned by them. How is Robert the only one wearing flip flops? When I went to Hawaii, I never took my sandals off. Oh, and Dawn is totally hitting on Robert.

Aaaaand, on page 5, we have our first Claudia spelling, when she says that ‘You gyes are turning this into a totle mess!!’

‘Chapter 2’ (really chapter 1) starts off by Kristy describing her family as large: ‘Not large as in fat, but as in numerous.’ Now I’m picturing the whole Brewer-Thomas clan as being 300 pounds apiece and it’s making me snicker.

I don’t know why, but this is one of my all-time favorite Abby moments. She’s ‘rowing’ an imaginary boat on Claudia’s bed while ‘doo-dooing’* the theme to Hawaii 5-0 when Kristy calls the meeting to order. Abby then makes a screeching sound and explains that’s the brakes. Stacey: ‘Canoes don’t have brakes.’

*That’s what it’s ‘officially’ known as when you ‘sing’ a song by going ‘Dee-da-dee-da doo doo!’ or whatever. Back when I used to play a lot of Cranium, my friends and I made an unofficial rule that doo-dooing was allowed to be considered whistling for those who couldn’t whistle.

Speaking of Hawaii 5-0, Abby mentions that she’s been watching a lot of reruns of both that and Magnum PI. It seems almost normal for Abby, who’s acknowledged to watch both Leave it to Beaver and I Love Lucy. But I also like the fact that she says she’s watching them on the Stoneybrook version of Nick at Nite.

Here’s a valid question: Why is Anna not going to Hawaii as well?

Abby packs like Claudia (read: suitcase is waaaaay overfull) but for different reasons. Claud packs like that because she has to have fashion for every occasion; Abby packs like that because she waits until 5 minutes before she’s supposed to leave the house to throw things into her bag.

“This is a tour bus, not the Magic School bus.” This is what is said when Jessi suggests the bus to the airport got them all the way to Hawaii. Who said it? I’ll give you a hint: she’s dressed up like the teacher from the Magic School Bus before.

Now Logan is using The Brady Bunch as his Hawaii reference.

Mary Anne name drops Jean-Claude Van Damme.

The title quote is a Logan line this time. You can guess upon whom it was aimed.

Jessi writes a super-long note to Mal at the beginning of her second chapter. It was really TL,DR but I did catch this part: Jessi indicates that Abby was snoring. Abby crossed it out and said I WAS NOT. Oh, honey. You have allergies. Of course you were snoring. Get over it.

Ooh, spelling mistake. Jessi continues her journal entry to Mal all through the chapter, and at one points she says that Abby is ‘suffed up’ instead of stuffed up.

Holy potatoes, people. This conversation about gave me a heart attack:

            Claudia: I don’t photograph well when I’m hungry.

            Dawn: You just ate a whole bag of Doritos upstairs.

            Claudia: Not true! I gave you three of them.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT DAWN ATE DORITOS?!?!?!! They’re full of preservatives and ingredients you can’t pronounce. I’m not surprised in the slightest that Claud ate Doritos before breakfast; I’ve been known to do that with Funyons before. But this conversation would have made a lot more sense if Claud said she’d given the three Doritos to someone else.

It’s amazing how, every now and then, I actually learn something from BSC books. I have this other series of books that I’ve loved for a long time and am trying to collect all of. In that series, the principal of the school the characters attend returns from years abroad…in Hawaii. He has a ‘Hawaiian accent’ that’s all kinds of strange and uses Hawaiian words. When he finds out the main female character doesn’t know how to swim, he tells her ‘That’s kapu.’ I could use my context clues for most of the Hawaiian words, but never exactly figured out what that meant. Now Jessi’s tour guide explains that kapu was the Hawaiian culture, which the white settlers killed by forcing the Hawaiians to behave like the whites. I’m still not sure what it means in the context of not being able to swim, though.

I do love this: Jessi has gone through two rolls of film in one walking tour, taking photos of everything, but she gets mad when Claudia knows exactly what Mal would actually want to see a photo of: Jessi’s face after she accidentally swallowed a spicy pepper.

More Claudia spelling: Jessi mentions Claudia’s eating the world’s biggest banana split, with four flavors of ice cream and multiple toppings: ‘Rong! Its only three difrent flavers of ice creme. They cheeted me.’

When Jenny Prezzioso first shows up in the story, she’s throwing a tantrum. Mal calls her Tropical Storm Jenny. OMG…Mal made a funny. And Dawn ate Doritos…first and second signs of the oncoming BSC-apocalypse? (Oh, and in case you couldn’t tell/haven’t read this one in a while…it’s Jenny who throws the tantrum in public. Her parents are actually trying to discipline her gently, instead of giving her whatever she wants to end her tantrum. Mal is instructed to just walk away from the tantrum and let Jenny work it out on her own, which is actually solid parenting.)

I like this, too: Jenny saw a commercial and didn’t understand what was going on…just the visual image of a fairy waving her wand and making toys appear. So she wants to be that fairy, too…by using phrases from the commercial like ‘low, low prices’ and ‘enchanted world of deep discounts.’ Reminds me of the kids who want the latest as-seen-on-TV product, even though they don’t know what it does. The commercial just made it look so cool.

Claudia spelling: buntch, Perl (Pearl), musiam, intresting (after she tried fascinating twice), reccomend, Mallery. Oh, and she uses your for you’re.

A food Claudia won’t eat: baked breadfruit with pe’e pe’e. When my family and I were in Hawaii, we drove by Pe’e Pe’e Street on the same day we went to the Boiling Pots. There was a lot of toilet jokes that day…mostly told by my dad.

Real book: A Fence Away from Freedom, about Japanese internment camps

Abby reads a book about how people speak in Hawaii, and how directions on Oahu are all toward the volcano (diamond head) or away from the volcano (ewa), or towards the beach or away from the beach (or something like that.) So when she orients her towel, she puts it “surfer”—in other words, pointed towards the surfers.

Here’s what I don’t get about Abby’s appearance on a television commercial for sunscreen. They were short an actor, Abby piped up and said she could play volleyball…okay, I buy that. But they ask her how old she is, she says eighteen…no one bothers to check this; instead they just tell her to show up tomorrow for the shoot. And then none of her teachers bother calling her mother or finding out more about this alleged shoot before agreeing to let Abby go. What if it were really a porno or something? (I’m getting images of a BSC porno, with all sorts of disgusting inappropriateness…and it’s way funnier that the 300 pound Karen from earlier….)

Haha! Stacey starts her first chapter by saying Wowee, Maui. We used to have to watch a video at my last employer where a woman would say, “Maui? Wowee!” in a really horrid perky voice. Every time Stacey speaks now, I am going to hear her having that voice.

Oh, and there was this thing in an earlier chapter (I can’t remember where) where Stacey was pissy at Robert and they had a fight on the plane. Meanwhile, Abby and Claudia kept seeing this girl Sue flirting with Robert. I assume this is setting up #99, which I have never read (but think I read next.)

Claudia spelling: Mowy (Maui), Coolaw mountans, windword, Oahio (Oahu), hotell, clift, hunderds, soldgiers, awthentique, ourselvs, plesent, sumer, Ema (Emma). Oh, and she’s just jocking again—this time, about being hurled off a cliff (clift?)

Oh, look, a Gilligan’s Island reference. This one is legitimate, though: the island in the opening credits can be seen from the girls’ hotel.

Even though the whole story about Mary Anne deciding to babysit during a Hawaiian vacation she’d scrimped and saved and tried to sell health food for (whhhhhhhyyyyyy) is beyond stupid, I did like the idea that she found a missing boy—which then led to her sitting job. The little boy went missing from the lobby, and when MA heard his little sister screw up the room number by putting the digits in the wrong order, she checked all the other rooms with the same numbers and found him locked in one of those. It reminded me of a scene in one of my favorite books. The boy (Thomas) gets locked into the bathroom at the back of the bus, and no matter how much he gets told to ‘turn the handle to the right’ he can’t get back out. Even though he’s nearly grown, he breaks down crying. Just as they run out of ideas, one of the brainier kids tells him to turn it to the left and click! it opens.

Only Robert note of interest? He’s decided he wants to be a paniolo, a Hawaiian cowboy. He’s a little old for that fantasy, but I can still dig it. Oh, and he thought sugar was mined, not grown. This makes me giggle because I can totally picture that.

The people in Stacey’s helicopter when it goes down: Pete Black, Renee Johnson, and Mari Drabek. I don’t know about Renee, but all the other names mentioned as being on this trip (Austin, Trevor, Alan, Sue, etc.) have all been eighth graders we’ve already met.

Pete pukes just before the helicopter crashes, and when Stacey comes to after blacking out, she doesn’t think Thank the heavens I’m alive; she thinks about how much it smells like barf.

‘Stalking people in playgrounds is not exactly a normal thing for an eleven year old girl to do.’ But Mal’s never really been normal, has she? She has this whole speech planned for when she finally runs into the woman who gave her a piece of her mind during Jenny’s tantrum. But she decides to be the bigger woman—er, eleven year old—and not gloat when that woman’s son throws an even bigger tantrum in front of her.

Ooh, yet another spelling mistake in a handwritten entry! Mary Anne (of all people!) spells Hawaii as Hawii. Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing someone other than Claudia make a spelling error, but it would make more sense to see it from anyone other than Mary Anne. Or Mal. I picture the two of them being very conscientious with their writing. (I actually think that no one spell checks the handwritten parts other than Claudia’s—to make sure she mispells enuf wurds.)

So, the first outfits (other than vague ‘bikini’ or ‘swimsuit’) belong to the kids Mary Anne is babysitting. So, boring, and I’m not going to repeat them. I would if they were interesting, like the kids in SS#6. I liked this aspect of it, though. MA took the sitting job because she wanted to learn about Hawaiian culture, but the Reynoldses are very typical Americans, eating Apple Jacks, wearing normal clothes and watching cartoons. She realizes she didn’t expect them to be wearing leis and hula skirts and eating a luau, but she was expecting something different and exciting. It’s a little bit of unconscious racism I think a lot of kids her age experience. They don’t mean anything bad by it; it’s a learning experience.

Claudia spelling: elven (eleven), oclock, nite, havn’t, serch, partys, calld, noboddys’, beleave, shes, manely, becuz, cant. She also uses were for we’re and writes togetherness (spelled properly) after trying twice to spell solidarity.

Abby tries to cheer everyone up: ‘Knowing Stacey, she’s probably found the only electrical outlet in the forest.’

Mistake in the text, not in the handwriting: ‘breakfast wasn’t exactly a laff riot.’ WTH? How did that slide by someone?

When Dawn convinces everyone to go clean up a beach she found, Jessi calls her weird—until Dawn explains it’s better than moping about Stacey—and Abby calls her ecologically correct. Interestingly, Dawn says she hates that term, although she’s such a future Democrat (she’s totally be voting for Bernie) I’d think she’d love political correctness.

Dawn actually contemplated boycotting the luau because they were serving the traditional roasted pig. Look, I don’t want to look at a roast pig either, but there’s so much more to a luau than the food. Just don’t look, Dawn. Just don’t look.

Logan should press charges. Mary Anne actually socked him in the shoulder. Don’t put up with that abuse, Logan. Women can beat men, too.

Wow, a modern (for the time) television reference! When Abby was in the sunscreen commercial, she didn’t wear any sunscreen. She tells Mal in her final entry that her skin is coming off in ‘chunks’ and she looks like something off The X-Files.

Last Claudia spelling: parints, Perl Harber, dilemna, lauhg, atall, cusin, injurred, fiting (fighting), freind, inturnmint, normul, hav, refusd, gess, kno. She also uses now for know.

Aww, happy ending again. Mal thanks Jessi for the journal. She says she would thank her a million times…except she’s afraid Dawn would yell at her for wasting paper. ‘Bout right.

New Characters

Scott, Lani, and Raymond Reynolds (8, 5 and baby)—27, 24 and 19

Next stop: We end 2015 by finishing off the BSC’s summer and taking a peek at Stacey’s Broken Heart