“Hide! Seek!” BSC #45: Kristy and the Baby Parade—British Edition (1991)

This was one of the rare books after #40 that I didn’t own. We had a 4 pack of 41-44 and then our collection started in earnest with #46. But I didn’t really mind. I remember cringing a LOT when I read this as a kid. I’m sure it won’t be any better now.

The BSC has been thinking a lot about babies recently. They take an infant care class and then decide to enter the local baby parade. They agree to make a float on the theme The Old Woman who Lived in the Shoe but then they don’t communicate properly and it ends up being a disaster. They agree to talk more and be less selfish in the future.

Meanwhile, Kristy has been helping Mrs. Prezzioso prepare Andrea’s buggy (stroller) for the parade. For some reason, she decides that if the Ps don’t win, she’ll get fired from her standing job with them. But of course, Andrea does win.

Interesting tidbits

Best first sentence ever! “I admit it, I was bored.” <insert me laughing for 2-3 minutes>

Brit-isms for chapters 1-3: mum instead of mom, Cluedo instead of Clue (the bored board game), making biscuits instead of cookies, buggies instead of strollers, favourite instead of favorite, Mohican hairdo instead of Mohawk, maths instead of math, neighbourhod instead of neighborhood, chairman and vice chairman instead of president and vice president, leaflets instead of flyers, they’re eating Hula Hoops at the meeting (even I had to Google that one, then realized I used to eat those all the time--I wore them as rings on my fingers and ate them off), barbecue beef potato crisps instead of barbecue potato chips, nursery school instead of preschool,

Does it bother anyone else when Kristy refers to her grandfather as ‘Nannie’s husband’ rather than Grandpa or some other familiar term? Jessi does the same thing; it’s always ‘Aunt Cecelia’s husband,’ not Uncle George or whatever his first name might be. (Come to think of it, Aunt Cecelia’s husband died pretty young. I mean, it’s possible she married a much older man, but it seems to me he died in his fifties or so.)

How did Kristy play Cluedo/Clue or Monopoly with DM and EM? Those games are way over a two year old’s head. She’s probably even a little young for Candyland.

Not to mention the fact that Kristy says she’s played a whole list of games with the two of them, including a marathon game of Monopoly. First off, Monopoly, played properly, always takes all day. I once played a game that went on for nearly 16 hours and still had no winner. Second, how long is this sitting job?

Every time these British books talk about how much Stacey loves maths, I get a song stuck in my head. It’s something my friend Heather made up back in Class 2 in Swainswick Primary School in Swainswick near Bath, in 1989 or 1990. Long story short (…too late): There used to be a park in the maths cupboard!

Ha ha! Stacey has the coolest clothes this side of the Connecticut state line. I guess there are cooler dressers in Massachusetts and Rhode Island then.

I like the description of Claudia as Refreshments Officer. It’s so much more accurate.

Is it just me or do barbecued beef potato chips sound gross? I’m not a fan of barbecue chips in general. Of course, I used to love prawn (shrimp) flavored chips, so I can’t really judge.

Chapter 4-6 Brit-isms: nappies instead of diapers, wind instead of gas (the burping kind),

Jessi asks what ‘colicky’ means, but in SS #11 (which admittedly hasn’t happened yet), we learn that Squirt had colic as a baby, so she should theoretically already know that.

Heh! When the BSC takes their infant care class, they meet a lot of pregnant women and some with newborns. One of the Salem twins starts screaming and no one can figure out what’s wrong with it…except Kristy. There’s nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that he just needed a diaper change. You’d think that would be one of the first things anyone would check.

I’m all for cloth diapers, which the Salems use, but I do have to wonder if they use a diaper service. I would think having newborn twins would be hard enough without having to wash diapers all day long.

What are the chances that no one in BSC-land needs a sitter during every single infant care class? I guess Logan and Shannon could be free, but it’s just one of those tossed-off details that we’re not supposed to think about. Although, Logan and Shannon both come to the ‘graduation’ ceremony, so I guess families needing sitters are just screwed then.

It’s pretty weird that there’s actually a graduation ceremony to which they’re supposed to invite friends and family. It’s just a four week course, not high school! Charlie actually comes, proving once and for all that Charlie has absolutely no life. Add to that the fact that all of Claudia and Mallory’s families show up and…yeah.

I like the fact that the Prezziosos aren’t as dressed up now that Andrea is around. It’s realistic that Mrs. P wouldn’t have the time (or energy) to spend making Jenny look like a porcelain doll.

Claudia spelling! Evur, cource, babys, notised, reely, din’t, exsept, inkredibly. Oh, and because she’s British, she wants to know “Have you lot ever notice how inkredibly cute Lucy Newton has got lately?” And my spell check actually changes inkredibly back to incredibly!

Chapter 7-9: trainers instead of sneakers, Hallowe’en instead of Halloween, a daft idea instead of a stupid one

I like Jamie’s logic: whenever people stop to talk to Lucy, he tells them how old he is and his birthday….because if they know when his birthday is, they might buy him birthday presents.

Heh! Kristy likens the wig Mrs. P wants Andrea to wear in the parade to her neighbor’s cat. I’m picturing that exactly.

Chapter 10-12: Girl Guides instead of Girl Scouts, hiring a costume instead of renting it.

I was reading a Jessi notebook entry. Normally, I don’t have problems reading the entries, not even Claudia’s, because the handwriting all looks computer generated like a font. But there was one word I had to finally work out by context clues because I couldn’t read it. I finally realized it was the word nappies. When they’d redone the book for the British version, it looks like they left the word diapers and didn’t realize it until too late. So they whited it out and then someone wrote nappies in.

I remember when Elmo wasn’t on Sesame Street very much! I actually liked Elmo until you started being able to tickle him. To quote a woman I very much admire: Teeki hates Elmo, and if she ever meets him, she’ll punch him in his face!

Here’s the problem with the float for the baby parade: no one’s talking. Mallory’s planning costumes and Stacey’s mixing paint colors, but they aren’t discussing colors, so they’re clashing. Claudia’s making the shoe but not telling Stacey how big it is, so Jessi doesn’t think she has enough paint. Okay, now for the big question: If Jessi sees these problems, why doesn’t she speak up and point them out? Same goes for Dawn, who comes over and says the exact same thing! She at least gets points for wanting to point it out. Jessi says they’re all working so hard, they shouldn’t disturb them. That’s really stupid.

Ooh, the next notebook entry makes chapter 11 sound like the ‘Dawn is a bitch’ chapter. Looking forward to it! Ha ha!

Okay, I suddenly love Nina and Eleanor Marshall for being realistic little kids. They’re playing hide and seek with Dawn. Nina (who is four, remember) hid behind a lamp that was much smaller than she was, while Eleanor (two) just turned and looked at the wall. I remember when Bee was two she used to hide the same way. If she can’t see you, you can’t see her.

Sad. Dawn’s really not that bitchy. Actually, everyone who worked on the float is kind of on edge because they just figured out what the others knew a couple chapters ago: the float is a lump, there’s not enough paint, and what little there is clashes horribly with the costumes. Dawn just happens to be the first one who snips; all she says is that the costumes looks stupid.

Ch 13-15: kerb instead of curb, shopping centre instead of shopping center or shopping mall

Charlie agrees to pull the awful float with his car in return for a small fee, but after seeing it, he puts on a floppy hat and a pair of sunglasses. You know the float’s got to be bad because normally Charlie’s all too happy to help the BSC out with stuff.

The signs on the float say Their was an womman who lived in a sho, and Thair was an old womann who lived in a shue. Let’s talk about two things here. First, Claud manages to spell the same words wrong on each sign, but two different ways. That doesn’t sound normal. I could understand if both signs said Their was an old womman who lived in a shue, because that’s phonetic. Second, why in the hell are they still letting Claudia make signs? I mean, she doesn’t even have nice handwriting particularly. Have one—any—of her friends letter the signs and then she can go to town decorating them. Or at the very least have someone—Mary Anne springs to mind, because she’s usually nice about stuff like this—spell everything for her on a paper and let her go to town.

Kristy totally hates the old cowboy who led the parade…especially when he starts singing. I feel her pain. It’s like having to work with my manager who loves country music, only much worse because the songs are cheesy and live.

Charlie took the ‘shoe’ float to the dump and got a lot of satisfaction from watching it get crushed. I like!

Outfits:

Claudia: oversized red blouse with black buttons, green and white tie dyed leggings, black high tops with untied laces, watermelon earrings

New characters:

Ricky and Rose Salem (infants): 23

Next week: Is it okay for me to make fun of anorexia? #61 Jessi and the Awful Secret