I’m
still angry about this book.
I’ve
never read it, you see. But it has been thoroughly spoiled for me. I first
started re-reading the BSC because I found a blog similar to this one. That
blog was incomplete, only covering a smattering of the stories in the
vastly-complex BSC universe. (I don’t think there is a blog out there that
could cover every BSC universe book, including all the Little Sisters and Kids
in Ms. Colman’s Class. Your brain would rot long before you ever got too far into
those series.) I was aware of most of the BSC titles, but I hadn’t kept up with
the mysteries. When I found out there was a book titled …and the Mystery Baby, I was excited. When I was a child, I always
wanted to find a baby on my front stoop and get to keep it. I actually thought
that if I did, my parents would let me
raise it, even though I was ten or so.
So why
am I so pissy? My local library is part of a large library system with a lot of
branches. They have most of the BSC books, but my local branch only had about
ten or twelve of them. I took home every one of the BSC books I’d never read,
including Abby in Wonderland, and then I requested to have some of the books I
really wanted to read transferred over from other branches, including this
book. But before it ever arrived, Abby in Wonderland totally and completely
spoiled the entire mystery of this book. I got crabby enough that I never
bothered to read it. Why bother?
Abby
finds a baby on her front stoop, and, despite police and social services
involvement, the Stevensons are allowed to keep the baby. They name him Eli and
the BSC attempts to figure out who he is and why he was abandoned. It turns out
that Abby’s aunt, Miriam, left her son with the Stevensons because she was ill
and needed to go to the hospital. Miriam hadn’t spoken with her family in years
because they didn’t accept the baby’s father. Miriam recovers and she and the
baby—really named Daniel—are reunited with the family.
In the
B plot, Mal and Jessi suggest a ‘writing month’ and poetry slam for the kids.
Interesting
Tidbits
The
cover: That poor baby, sitting uncovered on a front porch in what is clearly in
the middle of winter. Brr!
When
Abby first finds the baby on her stoop, she is a lot less surprised that I
would have been. I probably would have started off by saying, “What the…?” Abby
just drags the car seat inside, gives the baby a cuddle, changes his diaper,
and calls him a cute little booger. When she finally does stop to wonder why
the hell a baby was just randomly on her stoop, she does the most logical
thing…and calls Kristy. Kristy shows up with Nannie, which is a little
surprising, given that Kristy seems to think that 99 percent of mysteries don’t
require any adult involvement.
The BSC
gets introduced by what they would bring to caring for the strange baby. Kristy
had already met the baby and called the cops, because she’s so logical and such
a leader. Claudia would make a mural or mobile. Stacey would start a college
fund. Mary Anne would knit a blanket or booties. Dawn would read up on organic
foods for babies. Mal wouldn’t panic because she’s used to babies and
Jessi…would fit the baby for ballet shoes. Hm. Poor Mal and Jessi. They always
get the short end of the stick.
At the
BSC meeting, Stacey is wearing Hush Puppies. I know those are shoes, but I
always imagine the fried food instead. I’m actually picturing Stacey wearing
greasy yumminess on her feet.
“I know
it’s a mistake to confuse fiction with fact,” says Mal, for whom there is a
whole book of her doing exactly that. Maybe she learned her lesson…?
This
should be a huge clue to the mystery of the baby: Abby’s mom announces they’re
allowed to keep the baby, ‘for now.’ Tessie—my best friend and pseudo-sister,
for those of you not in the know—is a social worker and a foster parent. I
don’t care what state you’re in, if a baby is dropped off on your doorstep, you
don’t just get to keep it…unless you can offer some evidence that you are
biologically related.
Come to
think of it, at this point, no one has stopped to wonder why the baby was
dropped off at Abby’s house of all houses. If you decided you couldn’t raise
your baby, where would you drop it off? I know these days you can, in many
states, drop your child at a fire station or a hospital without penalty. But if
you were going to choose a house, how
would you decide? Abby’s house isn’t the first house off the highway or even in
a neighborhood. It’s got a long, imposing driveway, and doesn’t look
particularly family-friendly. In fact, if someone were watching the house,
they’d realize that it was occupied by a couple of latch-key teenagers and a
harried parent who’s rarely home. If I were driving around Abby’s neighborhood
with an infant I couldn’t care for, I’d be more likely to drop it off at, say,
Kristy’s house or the Papadakises’. There’s probably a stroller on the front
porch, a child’s bike or two in the front yard, or at least a mini-van with a
car seat in the driveway….all good hints that this is a family who has and
loves children.
Right
after I put all that logic and thought into the last post, Mal theorizes that
Abby’s house was selected because she lives in a rich neighborhood. So at least
someone is thinking, even if that’s really a simplistic way of thinking.
The
first two clues: Abby finds a pharmacy receipt from NYC in her yard. Later, Maria
Kilbourne mentions that she saw a green car drop baby Eli off.
I love
how we have to be reminded that Abby’s Jewish in ‘subtle’ ways on a regular
basis. Her grandparents use pretty common Yiddish phrases all throughout a
brief phone call with Abby, and they all get explained. I knew what mazel tov
meant when I was pretty young, and bubbelah as well. But even if you didn’t,
kids old enough to read these books should be able to use context clues to
determine approximately what those words mean.
Ahh. I
kinda love this. The Pikes have gotten into the spirit of Writing Month…which
means the triplets are writing disgusting poems, of course. Actually, everyone
is writing poetry, which makes Vanessa upset. I can only imagine: Pretend you
had a huge family and you only had one personality trait…and then everyone else
in your family decided to tread into your territory. But my favorite part is
that, even at nine, Vanessa responds to the drama that is her life by becoming
a mopey, Emo teenager who hates everyone and everything. Remember when I
mentioned teenaged Mal as the fangirl with the nose ring, thick eye liner and
chunky glasses? Vanessa would totally be dressed all in black with even more
eyeliner than Mal, still writing really horrible poetry. Only now, it would all
be about death and none of it would rhyme, ‘because life has no rhyme or
reason.’
This is
ridiculous. The sentence above regarding Mal not being able to distinguish
between fact and fiction comes from Mal and Jessi’s writing workshop. A woman
in that group had written a story in which a woman abandoned her baby right
before baby Eli turned up at the Stevensons’, so M&J are convinced that
means she might have done the same thing. So the two of them start stalking her
and never see her with a baby. She never buys diapers or baby food or anything
else for a baby. Which verifies for Jessi and Mal...that she must
have abandoned a baby…as opposed to the thought that maybe she never had a
child to begin with….
Kristy,
on the other hand, suspects the weird nanny that Mrs. Stevenson hired to take
care of the baby while she’s at work…mostly just because she’s a little odd. No
solid concrete evidence, but that’s never stopped Kristy before.
The BSC
and Anna are looking at the Stevensons’ Bat Mitzvah pictures when Claudia spots
a cute boy. The title quote is Abby’s response. (I almost went with ‘Check out
Kristy in a dress,’ Stacey’s commentary on the photos.)
Claudia
spelling: Malory, quesion, whant, writter, leav. She also uses no for know and
your for you’re. It’s a joint entry with Mal, and all I could think during the
first part was, how does Mal not go through and copyedit Claudia? I would have
such a hard time with that if it were me. But then Mal ends the entry by
suggesting it’s a good thing that Claud doesn’t want to be a writer, given her
spelling. Ha, ha! This is actually followed by a mistake where Abby says that
Claudia wasn’t offended by Stacey’s
joking, not Mallory’s.
I like
this, too: The Arnold twins are fighting over ridiculous things like the fact
that Carolyn is jealous that Marilyn’s toothbrush is purple and hers is ‘ugly
green.’ That sounds almost exactly like 20 different arguments that my sister
and I used to have. Realism!
Carolyn
really is a girl after my heart in this book. When she sets up a writing
station, she includes paper, pencils, a dictionary, a thesaurus…and a baby name
book. I name a lot of characters through baby name books. Although, why do the
Arnolds have a baby name book? You can’t imagine they used one to name their
twins, who have the stupidest twin names ever. (What would they have named two
boys? Sean and John? Mark and Clark?)
This
should be enough for most people to solve 90 percent of the mystery. Abby
called the pharmacy on the receipt she’d found and attempted to verify it
wasn’t her mothers. She checked on whether they had any prescriptions in her
mother’s name, Rachel Stevenson, and even her mother’s maiden name, Goldberg.
Obviously, the pharmacy had never heard of HIIPPA or however you spell it,
because they had no problem telling Abby they had a prescription in the name of
M. Goldberg. A couple chapters later, Abby sees the name Miriam written in her
mother’s office and remembers that’s her aunt, the sister her mother talks
about. Obviously, Miriam Goldberg would be the M. Goldberg from the pharmacy.
Come to
think of it, the Goldberg family isn’t exactly the most forgiving bunch, is it?
Between Rachel and her parents not talking to Miriam for years and Gram Elsie
not talking to her sister for years
over a little case of blabber mouth, they really are unforgiving. It’s actually
kind of interesting because you can see Abby pushing her little family unit not
to be like that in a few books. The Stevensons aren’t as dysfunctional as say,
the Kilbournes, but they aren’t really terribly close either.
Abby
actually makes the M. Goldberg connection after she realizes that Miriam is
‘Eli’s’ mother. Abby’s mom had been horrified/fascinated by the blanket the
baby had been wrapped in. When Anna and Abby finally find a picture of Miriam,
she’s barely more than a baby herself, clutching the same blanket.
“You’ll
be grounded for fifteen years.” I can’t decide whether Anna is serious or
hyperbolic.
Apparently
Miriam was never married to Daniel’s father, which is pretty progressive for a
BSC book. But it sounds to me that Abby’s grandparents largely disowned her
because she was in a relationship with this guy, but long before she ever got
pregnant. Makes you wonder: was he a drug dealer? A pimp? A hippie? Hmmm….
Abby
actually likes the triplets’ rap about boogers and puke. Makes the comment
about wanting to date one of them take on a whole different spin. Hee hee!
Just
when I thought the ‘Mary Anne cries about everything’ shtick couldn’t get any
worse, she actually cried at a song about chlorophyll.
So what
happened to our other suspects? Mal and Jessi’s suspect, as you can imagine,
never had a child; her story was just a story. And the nanny was nervous
because this was her first nanny job, so she was acting a little jumpy. That’s
it, that’s all. Lame.
Outfits
Claudia:
red flannel mini-dress, black and white checked vest, black tights, red high
tops, red scrunchie
Stacey:
stonewashed jeans, white shirt, green v-neck sweater, brown hush puppies
What’s
next? #106
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