"His teeth were very white. Like vanilla ice cream." BSC FF #4: Claudia and the Friendship Feud (1999)

Claudia and Stacey are still fighting, avoiding spending time together, and generally making BSC meetings unpleasant. After a sitting job for the Pikes with Erica Blumberg, Claudia discovers she actually likes spending time with her. The two of them become friends, but Claudia keeps trying to mold Erica to be more like Stacey instead of accepting her for who she is. The situation comes to a head when Claudia convinces Erica to go shopping with her--something Erica doesn't enjoy--and then calls her Stacey. She calls Claudia on using her as a Stacey substitute, saying she enjoys her company but isn't--and doesn't want to be--Stacey. 
Meanwhile, Jeremy has been trying to rekindle a friendship with Claudia, who is still harboring feelings for him. The Pike kids hatch a plan to force Stacey and Claudia to talk--it's a lot simpler and a lot less BSC than most of the Pikes' plots--and the two of them wind up talking. Claudia realizes she's not ready to go back to the way things were with Claudia, but she apologizes to Erica, realizing that she was pretty much a jerk to her.
Interesting Tidbits
The story starts with Claud and Mary Anne going to the movies and spotting Stacey and Jeremy. Claudia's paying more attention to them than to the previews until Mary Anne dangles some Milk Duds in her face. Normally, I'd shake my head at Mary Anne for trying to fix a problem with candy, but this IS Claudia. It's a very appropriate distraction in that case.
At this point, Claudia's still hurt over Stacey betraying her to go out with Jeremy, but acknowledges both that she said some things to Stacey she didn't mean, and that she shouldn't have told Jeremy about Ethan.
Since when does Vanessa Pike take ballet? She doesn't seem the type. Margo or Claire...sure. Not Vanessa.
Have I mentioned I love when Janine tries to be funny? Well, I do. Claudia wears braids like Mary Anne used to when she was younger, because she read that they were coming back into style. Janine greets her by calling her Pippi Longstocking--and later, "Pippi gone hippie." (Mrs. Kishi helps Claudia out by pointing out how determined, spirited and motivated Pippi was. Then tells her not to trip on her shoes.)
Claudia is reading Wuthering Heights in class. It's odd how these books mix real middle school reading (Newbery Award winners) with the sort of things I read in high school. This one was something I read for AP English. My senior year.
Claudia calls Stacey her 'best friend for life,' and I laugh. Not just because the two of them aren't talking--even if I hadn't read the rest of the series, I would have known they'd be friends again by the end--but because I called them BFFs in my last entry. A former coworker of mine used to call people 'BFF for life,' and that was not a compliment. The woman whose slack I used to have to pick up when she'd call off nearly every shift at the last possible second was my BFF for life according to him.
Why does Mr. Kishi ring the doorbell at his own house?
Conveniently, Peaches has a story just like Claudia's, about fighting with her best friend over a boy. Peaches' story has a happy ending, of course, because the fight leads to her meeting Russ, her hubby. (This is actually a decent piece of foreshadowing on the Alan/Claudia relationship.) But the point she's really making is that real friendships can withstand fights, no matter how bad they may seem at the time.
The title quote refers to Jeremy. Maybe it's because my parents always bought French vanilla, but I've never thought of vanilla ice cream as being that white.
Since when does SMS have a salad bar option?
I love how the guy that Erica calls a geek has a geeky name. Back in the day, they would always refer to that kid Alexander (Kurtzman, I think) who carried a briefcase. I think AMM thought Alexander was a geeky name, but then when it came back into fashion, she found an even geekier name: Wellner Wallace.
"It looks like you did your hair in the dark." I love you, Janine.
Claudia said she didn't enjoy going to the mall until she met Stacey. How did she get her 'awesome' clothes from the first few books then, like her clock tights? And her sheep barrettes?
I like Erica. She says she doesn't want to go to Macy's because there are too many people there and it makes her nauseous. It's a view that you don't get in the BSC--even Kristy doesn't mind going to the mall under certain circumstances. I'm one of those people who walks into the mall with a certain purpose in mind, a map of where I'm going in my head, and a timeline to get the hell out of there.
"You can make a disco turkey." Erica's suggestion for Claudia's Thanksgiving centerpiece.
Erica makes an Abby-worthy cheese pun. Twice.
Claudia puts a Wee Sing video in for Lynn to watch. Lynn, who is like six months old. Not to mention the fact that I used to LOVE Wee Sing.
"Never eat Oreo creme filling before bed." That's just plain good advice, no matter how delicious the creme is.
Now Claudia is reading A Tale of Two Cities. LOVED that one... read it Freshman year. Of course, it helped having a very good (but very scary) teacher. (There used to be a Facebook group called Mr. Butler is a Scary Mo-fo. I joined it.)
Stacey tells Claudia she forgives her for telling Jeremy about Ethan. She seems to think that will solve anything...despite not apologizing for her own missteps.
Molly, Peaches' old friend, has a glamorous life as a 'famous photographer,' and Peaches is jealous of that experience. Molly is, of course, equally jealous of the fact that Peaches has a family and roots that she doesn't have.
This is nice: Claudia realizes how much she needs to apologize to Erica, for forcing her to go shopping and, worse, talking about Stacey the whole time and even calling her Stace at one point. When she does apologize, Erica laughs and says she's already forgiven her. She then admits she likes Claudia a lot and is jealous of the pull Stacey has on her.
Still no resolution to the Stacey-Claudia feud. I really forgot how long they dragged that story out.
Outfits
Claudia: red woolen sweater, navy blue skirt with flowers embroidered at the bottom, platform loafers, braids (This is SO Mary Anne, circa 1986! Except for the platforms on the loafers); blue angora sweater, hair in small braids all over her head; plaid shirt, brown bell bottoms, maroon sneakers
Lynn: blue romper covered in stars
Jeremy: black denim jacket, painter pants, Doc Martens
Next: #5 and a heavy--and welcomed--dose of Cary Retlin

“I need to English muffin.” BSC #127: Abby’s Un-Valentine (1999)

It’s Valentine’s Day (duh…) and Abby’s not feeling the love. Ross Brown asks her to the V-Day dance and she turns him down, because she’s not interested in dating, or dancing, or romance. Most of her friends don’t understand her attitude and try to get her to change her mind. Even Anna is trying to get Abby and Ross together, and when Abby realizes those two have more in common, she tries to get Ross to switch his affection. It doesn’t go right—he mistakes Anna for Abby and thinks the twins tried to trick him--but eventually, he and Anna hit it off and go to the dance together. Meanwhile, Kristy and Abby spend V-Day watching horror movies.

In the B-plot, Scout the guide dog puppy is graduating to real training, meaning it’s time for her to leave the Thomas-Brewer house. Andrew, who had gotten close to the puppy, is upset because Shannon is DM’s dog while the kitten apparently likes Karen best (stupid kitten.)

Interesting Tidbits

I love this cover. Abby has a real WTF look on her face.

Abby-logic: Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday, because they don’t close school for it. I sorta get that—especially if you don’t like V-Day—but then Halloween and most (especially non-Christian) religious holidays aren’t real, either. She also says that V-Day is just an excuse for candy and silliness, and she doesn’t like the silliness. WHAT? You’d think Abby would love ridiculosity. (not a real word, apparently, but it should be.) She seems to enjoy chaos, especially of her own making.

I like that Abby’s main objection to dating is that boys are completely immature at her age. She’s not opposed to dating, per se, and has mentioned several times that she finds various guys cute. (Including Sgt. Johnson…maybe she has a thing for older men?!? They’re…usually…not middle-school immature.)

“Mallory is no longer with us.” Whenever someone says something like that, I assume the person has passed.

One of Abby’s complaints about V-Day? Too much PDA. I have to agree with that one!

Do you think Abby read the BSC books before she joined the club? How else would she know that Erica Blumberg got the Most Creative Excuse award in mystery #4 or that Jacqui Grant was one of the girls who got busted for drinking at a concert in #76? I realize that the others could have told her these things, but who would remember all these details? She’d have to be Dr. Spencer Reid… (Yes, I am watching Criminal Minds right now. I bought the entire series on DVD in the past few weeks…)

Bad pun alert! Josh (remember him? He really only gets mentioned in Claudia book, and it’s been a while since I’ve done one of those) decorated up Claudia’s locker in candy and kiddy-Valentines. Abby mentions how…sweet…it is.

“Email and romance do not belong in the same sentence.” How true.

Abby’s version of the love story between Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning (with a little bit of paraphrasing on my part): Lizzie Barrett enjoyed ill health and lying on a couch until the Robster came along. I’m remembering…something…I read once about how in the Victorian era, fainting and looking ill were trendy.

There’s this whole Little Sister plot about how Karen and Andrew’s mom and stepdad, Lisa and Seth Engle, moved to Chicago for six months. Karen and Andrew were supposed to live with them, but Karen got too homesick and moved back to live with her dad. Much like the whole Pumpkin-the-kitten-thing, it’s barely mentioned in the BSC books, until now, when Andrew moves back.

I’m not up on beef suet, but is that the sort of thing most people just have sitting around in their fridge? We never did growing up, and I certainly don't now. MA uses it to make the pinecone bird feeder craft, but I remember making the same thing in Brownies with just peanut butter, which most people DO stock.

Interesting. At one point, Abby says that neither she nor Anna has too many friends. Later, she mentions that she and Kristy aren’t close, because Kristy’s too bossy. (Read: both Kristy and Abby are bossy and the neither of them likes it when the other bosses her around.) So who does Abby consider herself to be close to?

Heh. Abby keeps turning nouns into verbs. Anna is violining, while Abby bagels herself. (Kristy’s response is the title quote.)

Kristy is actually pretty insightful about her friends’ behavior. She tells Abby that Mary Anne, Claudia and Stacey all want Abby to get together with Ross because they’re happy with their boyfriends and want Abby to feel that too. Kristy also says that she knows that people can be happy when single, but her friends have a little growing up to do. I don’t know about the last part, but some people do have to learn that they can be happy when they’re single. A friend of mine from high school constantly had to have a boyfriend, and if she broke up with one, she instantly found someone else, no matter how unsuitable, to date. She’s now married to a guy whom she told ‘propose or I’ll break up with you’ and that worked out so well that she’s cheated on him for most of their marriage. But I think it’s overstating things to say that most people don’t know that you can be happy without a significant other, especially at an age where a lot of girls have never had a date before.

Kristy relates the Abby-Ross relationship to hers with Bart. She says that she went out with him to dances and stuff mostly out of peer pressure, even though she knew she’d never feel romantically about him. Abby then stares at her…and somewhere, some people’s minds go straight to the two of them kissing. (I know I made fun of the over-‘lesbianity’ of fanfic. I want to straighten out my opinion…I don’t have a problem with ficters choosing to interpret the characters as gay. I just want to see a logic behind it, or a buildup.)

“Thanks for the roses. They’re very…pink.” Here’s what’s interesting about Ross showing up at Abby’s house with a bouquet. Claudia, Stacey and Mary Anne were all horrified that Abby turned Ross down, and that she didn’t do it gently, because she might have hurt his feelings. Seems they couldn’t be more wrong. She needs to be even more obvious with him.

Claudia spelling: cant, beleve, leeving, shes, warnd. She also uses fore for four (type that four times fast), its for it’s, groan for grown, and to for two.

Nannie has a catering business? That must also have been more of a plot in the Little Sister books. This is pauling me off. I don’t want to have to read those awful books in order to understand what’s going on in Kristy’s house! (I used to post at message board that would turn curse words and certain ‘trigger’ words into ****. The name Paul was considered a trigger word for reasons that are far too stupid and complicated to explain. For a long time, I would say that things pauled me off instead of pissed me off, since both words turned into ****.)

Jessi has to play peacemaker during a BSC meeting. It’s actually a nice role for her; with Mal gone, she’s got no set place anymore. Abby gets tired of the three with boyfriends trying to shove her at Ross, so she (not-so-nicely) insinuates that they would date anyone just for the sake of having a boyfriend. When neither side will back down, Jessi jumps in with a question about the Andrew plotline that throws everyone off her stride.

“Charlie, you’re a guy, right?” If I were Charlie, my answer to this would be so sarcastic: ‘Well, I haven’t checked in the last half hour or so….’ Instead, he actually listens to Abby and then gives her solid advice.

When will the BSC learn that their ‘great ideas’ that involve manipulating people will never work?!?

Is anyone surprised that Valentine’s Day is on Saturday? No, me neither. Moving on.

I love this: Abby makes a pun in her head, and it cheers her up. She doesn’t even need to share it with anyone else.

Kristy and Abby’s V-Day plans? They’re skipping the dance in favor of pizza and a movie: Pepperoni Man, a horror film about a delivery guy. I’d watch it! (Abby makes a horror movie pun about sitting dead center.) She even wins a prize at the theater: a giant box of chocolates to share with her Valentine. She says she’ll take it to the BSC meeting on Monday, but I couldn’t help but think that she went back to sit next to Kristy….

Outfits

Claudia: blue, white and gray woolly sweater covered in snowflakes, long black tights, thick blue socks, hiking boots with silver snowflake shoelaces

Stacey: short brown leather skirt, pale stockings, knee-high boots, soft butter-colored sweater with pearl buttons

Shannon: jeans and blue sweater

Abby: sweats

Anna: jeans and old sweater

Next: #128

“Puppies are a lot easier to potty train.” BSC #118: Kristy Thomas, Dog Trainer (1998)

Oh look. Another issue book. I haven’t read this one, but I really hope it’s a lot less depressing than the last title.

Kristy’s family takes in a guide dog trainee puppy. Their main job is to teach the dog to obey simple commands like sit and stay, how to ‘go’ on command, and how to behave in public, so the puppy, Scout, can then go to a formal guide dog school, to learn special skills. Watson got the idea from a coworker of his, whose daughter recently lost her vision after an illness. Deb, who is twelve, is angry and mourning the loss of her sight and freedom, and the BSC decide to ‘fix’ that by trying to make her new friends.

During a sitting job, Deb decides to go to the video store, but her brothers aren’t ready to leave. So while Kristy’s not looking, she leaves on her own. Kristy finds her in the intersection and leads her back to the house.

Interesting Tidbits

The cover. Kristy actually looks super cute here, and the puppy is pretty adorable. (Not as cute as my Scout, but a lot less fat….) And this happens in the book, when Kristy meets a guy with a guide dog.

Ew. Kristy’s making dog puns, and they’re even worse than Abby’s puns. Boo, Kristy!

Then, to make matters worse, Abby points out that, even though they’re babysitters, they’re not supposed to sit on babies. And then makes a horse pun that related right into a very stupid exchange right before that.

Stacey makes a comment about how blind people have to learn to tell coins apart by feeling them, and wonders how they differentiate paper money. Well, first, I have the comment that a lot of people have complained about the 2006 update to money being ‘Monopoly money’ because it was different colors. Well, in other countries, not only is the money different colors but different denominations are also different sizes, specifically for this reason. I’ve seen people with visual impairments who fold different denominations in their wallets in different ways so they know what they have. I’ve also heard that Ray Charles used to insist in being paid in singles so that he knew he wasn’t being ripped off.

Karen asks what happens to the guide dog puppy if it fails its training. I actually knew the answer to that before I read it, because I read a magazine article back in my early teens about a family that raised a guide dog puppy. They updated on the puppy a few months later, stating that the puppy had failed guide dog school, but was now in training to be some type of police dog—either a cadaver dog or a drug sniffing dog or something similar.

Kristy loves Scout’s name because it reminds her of To Kill a Mockingbird. My Scouty is named after that same character.

I love this: after hearing that the Brewer-Thomas family will be getting a guide dog, Mallory and Shannon give Kristy books on dog training. This makes sense, as Mallory’s a book/library nerd, while Shannon’s family probably just had one of those lying around. (Although, couldn’t you picture the Kilbournes hiring someone to train Astrid?)

So Kristy. She brings Scout to a BSC meeting, and it’s not till she gets there that someone else points out that Abby’s allergic to dogs. Shouldn’t she have considered that before? My mother’s allergy to dogs is very serious, and she would have had to leave an enclosed space like Claudia’s room if there was a dog there.

It annoys me how one-dimensional they make most of the characters in these stories. When Jessi finds out that guide dogs can go anywhere, her first response is, even the ballet? Claudia is curious about McDonald’s. I expected them to continue the trend: Mallory to ask about the library, or Stacey to ask about the mall.

Real book: Nate the Great, which Mark is reading for school

Mary Anne is the first to sit for the Coopers. She wants to help Deb, who’s angry and resentful over the loss of her independence. Mary Anne feels very helpless to assist Deb in anyway, but I think she actually did a good job. When Deb knocks over a chair, she rights it and then tells Deb where it is so she can find it and sit in it on her own. And then she lets her vent her frustration.

The Abby groan fest continues: after she inadvertently rhymes a sentence, Mal tells her she sounds like Vanessa. So Abby voluntarily keeps up the very grade-school poetry.

After MA’s experience with Deb, the BSC decides to ‘fix’ her situation by making new friends for her. Kristy’s supposed to be a sort of companion for her for the afternoon—kind of the way Dawn was supposed to be Whitney’s companion once upon a time—and the other sitters decide to bring their charges over to see her so that she could have other people who didn’t know her before to hang out with, people who wouldn’t judge her by the person she used to be. That’s a sweet idea, but again, Deb is twelve. The kids they plan to pair her up with are between the ages of four and eight. Good friends for her little brothers, but for her? The BSC members themselves would be smarter choices. (Oh, Mary Anne brings Ben Hobart along with the other Hobart boys, which is more appropriate. But why is she sitting for him? And he already knows her, since James and Mark are friends, but doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose here as well?)

Karen suggests that Scout could go on safari with a blind person. While that’s technically true, where the hell did she come up with that idea?

HA HA! Kristy nearly makes Karen cry!

Watson say the title quote when Kristy equates raising a guide dog puppy to raising a child.

I feel for Mark and Jed. One of them makes a comment about how Deb gets to watch as much television as she wants, then self-consciously amends that to say she listens to television. They have to keep the floor clean and not move anything around, and since Deb is so angry, they tiptoe around her, trying not to set her off. While Deb is getting help from a social worker, the two of them just have to deal with the changes to their lives.

When Kristy finds Deb in the middle of the intersection, she winds up telling her off. Deb suggests she’d be better off dead, and Kristy tells her she’s not dead—she’s got family and friends who care. Deb says she doesn’t want her friends feeling sorry for her, which is a noble sentiment. But Kristy points out that she then should stop feeling sorry for herself. Easier said than done, but I think it did need to be said.

Small mistake: the word ‘warning’ appears in the middle of a sentence and in the middle of a line in a book, yet it’s written as warn-ing.

That really wasn’t as bad as I thought. I think it’s because the BSC members don’t ‘fix’ or ‘save’ Deb. She still has a long ways to go, her attitude is still intermittently crappy, and she still lacks the independence of kids her age. Nothing’s really solved, but Deb has started on the right track. Much more realistic than most BSC books.

New characters

Deb, Mark and Jed Cooper (12, 8 and 4)—30, 26 and 22

Outfits

Stacey: black jeans, black cropped sweater, ankle boots

Claudia: hot pink bike shorts, Hawaiian print shirt, hot pink and lime socks, Doc Martens painted swirls of colors. Other than the Docs, this outfit SCREAMS 1990.

Next: Mystery #34

“Which team is this dog registered to play on?” BSC #110: Abby the Bad Sport (1997)

I’ve never read this book before, for one blatant reason: I knew I was going to hate the dated, non-‘people-first’ language. Actually, if I remember correctly, I started reading it and stopped for that exact reason. Let’s see if I have better luck this time.

Abby’s joined what the book calls a Unified Special Olympics team. Special Olympics athletes are playing on a team with athletes without impairments; quite frankly, the only reason I can see for this is that they can throw a PSA about the Special Olympics, because the rest of the plot doesn’t seem to benefit from that fact. One of the other athletes, Erin, is as good at soccer as Abby is, which is something Abby isn’t used to, and she’s given the position Abby wants. The two of them start competing against each other, trying to one up another, and refusing to play nice. The Krushers form a booster club to support the team, so all the kids get to see Abby acting badly and find out that both Abby and Erin get benched for two games. Abby accepts her position, apologizes to Erin (and Kristy, who calls Abby on her B.S.) and moves on.

Meanwhile, Abby’s mother decides the family needs to spend the weekend of their late father’s birthday with his parents, whom they haven’t spent much time with since he’d died. Abby doesn’t want to go, so she sorta lies/sorta misleads her mother into not making her go. He real reason for not wanting to go? She hates visiting her father’s grave, because it’s too real.

Interesting tidbits

Aaaaaand Abby starts the book with a pun on page one. She’s so late to the meeting that she’s running. You know how BSC books almost always start with the narrator describing the scene and then saying, “I’m getting ahead of myself”? This time, Abby is running ahead of herself.

Abby’s now firmly described as being medium, instead of super-tall like she originally was. This is the second book in a row to use that adjective for her.

In order to verify what I’ve said recently, Abby is indeed allergic to tomatoes and shellfish. Going back to the last book, Abby ate with the Brewers and Derek’s friends at a seafood restaurant. There would be plenty of things she could eat there, but depending on how severe her allergy is, she might have problems just eating near shellfish or if the same cooking surface was used.

Aaaaaaaaand, we have our first ‘mental retardation’ on page 6. It definitely could be worse though, because at least it says ‘players with mental retardation.’ By the way, the players with impairments are known as athletes and the ones without are called partners. I think it’s kind of offensive for them to even create a distinction.

Abby tries to convince the rest of the BSC that soccer is awesome. She tells Claudia it’s a moving art form, and Stacey points out that it’s all based in geometry. I don’t think she could convince my cousin, though, who spends the entire World Cup whining each time because it’s taking televised time from ‘real sports people actually care about.’

Did you know that Kid Kits are not kids used to assemble children? Abby is sooo hilarious.

Since when do middle schools have varsity and junior varsity? We always had A team and B team, which is the same thing SMS has in book #129.

Other players on the team: Jojo (lol), Petra, Connie, Sandy, Annalise, and Jeana

Abby admits to expecting less out of the athletes than partners, simply because they have impairments. I think that’s fair enough, because how many people with mental impairments have they ever met before?

I swear they only have a player named Petra so Abby can make the pun that she looked petra-fied.

There are seriously a whole bunch of pages just explaining soccer positions and rules, and it’s wicked boring. And, unlike my cousin, I love soccer.

Abby’s competition with Erin starts before the first practice even begins, when the two of them get into a race during laps. And then Coach Wu gives Abby’s preferred position—center forward, pretty much the plum position on the team—to Erin, so Abby’s jealous.

Ha! The name of the ice cream store Coach Wu takes the soccer team to? Thirty-two Flavors and Then Some. That’s not so subtle there.

Abby really is a horrible sport. She resents Erin for getting ‘her’ position and being more popular with her teammates, so she decides Erin is a ‘showoff’ and the rest of the team are ‘phonies.’ Later, after the team wins, she tells Erin she knows more about soccer than Erin does…after Erin (truthfully) says that they lost because Abby kept leaving her defensive position to try to score. (It may not have been exclusively Abby’s fault, but when she’s spending all her time in midfield or forward, trying to score, it makes it a lot easier for the other team to get past the defense.) Then again, when Abby was first introduced, she said she wasn’t a team player, so maybe that’s the real problem.

The title quote comes from when Shannon-the-dog decided to join the soccer game and a soccer player tripped over her.

At one point Haley calls the soccer team ‘footballers’ and Karen gets ready to argue with her about it. Haley would be right in just about every other country in the world. (Plus, footballers sounds so much cooler than soccer players.)

Mallory mentions that the triplets play soccer, yet I remember at least once Jeff complaining that the triplets didn’t like soccer. I guess it’s just a sign of the times; in 1986, soccer wasn’t very popular, but by 1997, it was a lot more played.

Stoneybrook United loses a second game, largely because Abby refuses to pass the ball to Erin, who was wide open. Instead, she takes the shot herself and misses; the other team scores through the empty hole Abby created in the defense. She and Erin get into a shouting match and nearly pound each other. The most obnoxious part of this, though? Karen and company sitting on the sidelines, saying things like “Isn’t she supposed to pass now?” “They’re not going to fight, are they?” and “They were bad sports.” We all know all that without the kiddie commentary.

Abby doesn’t tell anyone she’s benched. Instead, Karen finds out by talking to Erin, who was also benched. Kristy gives Abby a totally contemptuous look, but I can only imagine the look Kristy would have given if she’d known the whole story. (Abby didn’t tell her mother she’d been benched either, and used the game as an excuse not to go spend the weekend with her paternal grandparents.)

Claudia spelling. Yay! Hapen, rihgt, wasch, allot (a lot), leest, fighte. She also uses your for you’re, twice.

The boosters throw a carwash, which is (mostly) too boring to mention. But the first customer is the Pink Clinker, which Nannie then agrees they can park on the corner to gather attention for the carwash. They describe the Pink Clinker as “the big, old pink car.” I’ve mentioned before that I pictured the Pink Clinker as a Volkswagen Beetle, but this totally has me picturing an early-80s Cadillac: a giant boat of a car.

Odd. Abby goes running in Miller’s Park, mentioning that “from what I’ve heard” there was a fight with a developer over the park that ended with it being declared a historic monument. Umm, that happened in Mystery #24. Abby’s first mystery was #23, so she was around when that happened.

Leave it to Abby to suggest a whole bunch of really punny soccer team names when Kristy suggests a Krushers-spinoff soccer team.

So Abby tells her mother the truth about the soccer team, and about why she didn’t want to visit her father’s grave. Her mom understands her and accepts Abby for who she is and what she’s done, which is really nice, if you think about it. I mean, Abby’s apologizing for not talking to her mother and for not being ready to go back to her father’s grave…and neither of those is really a crime (or even necessarily something to apologize for). And her mom is cool with it because Abby can’t help what she feels, and she’s already worked out for herself that she made some bad choices.

So the Special Olympics aspect could have been way worse. They actually use people-first language throughout the book, and don’t refer to the actual mental impairments much. Instead, a point is made of how similar the athletes and partners are. Most of the time, the only way you can tell the difference between the athletes and partners are that one of the athletes stutters and several of them are described as acting a little younger than the partners. (When I taught special education, my students—ages nine through thirteen—largely still believed in Santa and many of them acted a year or two younger than they really were. It’s not always true, but it’s not horribly offensive, either.) The only awkward part is when Erin calls Abby on her bad sportsmanship. Abby tells Erin she’s a better athlete than Erin is, and Erin replies, “Why? Because I have mental retardation?” I cringed big-time at that point. It’s poorly phrased for a couple different reasons, at least partly because mental retardation is a dated-sounding term. I wouldn’t have been nearly as bothered if Erin had said, “Why? Because I’m in special education?” or used the term special needs or even disability.

Outfits

Claudia: crop top muscle shirt batikked in green and blue, skinny black shorts, one blue sock and one green, Doc Martens, button earrings; oversized t-shirt with purple and white soccer balls and matching earrings

Stacey: purple silk t-shirt

Mary Anne: purple striped shirt

Jessi: purple leotard

Mallory: purple and white socks

Next: Our final super special! Saaaaaaad!

“This is a stupid way to die.” BSC Mystery #30: Kristy and the Mystery Train (1997)

This is the second Kristy mystery centered around a Derek Masters plotline. Were there any justice in the BSC-universe, those both should have been Jessi plots.

Derek’s back in town, and he’s taking a train trip as publicity for his new mystery movie. Kristy, Abby and Stacey go along for the ride, along with Nicky, David Michael, Linny, James and Buddy. Weird things go on during the ride, odd notes show up everywhere, and then Stacey and Kristy see a man pushed overboard (over rail?) Turns out that the screenwriter stole the script from a student of his, who wanted credit. He’d faked his own death and then tried to kidnap the screenwriter’s son before the BSC and a couple of adults subdue him.

The pool at the country club from mystery #23 opens for the summer, and Stephen Stanton-Cha is acting oddly. Eventually, the sitters find out he doesn’t know how to swim. Jessi helps him feel more comfortable in the water and he has a good time after that.

Interesting Tidbits

The cover is completely hideous. I think the mystery of the train is how horrible Kristy and Abby look here…

Kristy introduces Karen as her stepfather’s daughter, which is kind of an odd way of putting it. I mean, it’s technically true, but sort of roundabout. It’s almost as if I identified my mother as my father’s ex-wife.

The Masterses drive a Mercedes station wagon.

Stacey points out that Mal would like to see Louisa May Alcott’s house, but given that that is Mary Anne’s favorite book, wouldn’t see be just as interested?

Elizabeth and Watson are way too nice. After the Masterses agree to take a total of nine kids* on the train trip, the Brewers take the five Stoneybrook kids and the three sitters up to Boston for the night. The kids are all ramped up, so they have to get them a seafood dinner**, three hotel rooms, and all the expenses related to a day-long walking tour of the building.

*Derek, Todd, DM, Buddy, James, Linny, Nicky, Derek’s friend Greg and Todd’s friend Daniel

**I thought Abby was allergic to seafood? I’m going to need to review her allergies here sometime soon.

I can’t explain why, but every time I try to write Buddy Barrett’s name, I type Butty. And then, because I’m so juvenile, I giggle a little bit.

“I woke up early the next morning to…Abby breath.” This also made me giggle.

Oh, here Stacey goes again. She calls Boston a ‘little’ town because it’s smaller than NYC. If Logan’s superpower is superdickery, Stacey’s is supersnobbery.

People we meet on the train (aka suspects): Rock Harding (love that Hollywood name), the director; Ronald Pierce, screenwriter (and Daniel’s father); Anne Arbour, publicist (named after a city, hee hee); Jane Atlantic, reporter (Kristy keeps pointing out how much she looks like Stacey, so you know that’s going to be important); Benjamin Athens (People’s sexiest man on the planet) and Elle San Carlos, leads in the movie; Charlie, Elle’s husband/ex-husband

I loooove the idea that Benjamin and Elle are having an affair for publicity, yet we’re given the impression that Elle and her hubby aren’t quite divorced yet. It’s all insinuation so far, but it’s a lot more adult than you see in most of these books.

Nicky actually asks if everyone who lives in California is a vegetarian, and Greg (who is Californian and vegetarian, hence the question) says no. But the BSC books tend to give the opposite conclusion.

I like this: Kristy decides to keep an eye on Nicky and Greg, because they’re Derek’s two best friends, meeting for the first time. She equates it to when she got to know Dawn. I also related it to SS#8, when Linny and Nicky—DM’s two best friends—fought all the time. Obviously, they got over it, as they’re both on this trip and getting along.

You have to wonder who’s in charge of this train trip and whether they should be fired. I mean, a bunch of tomfoolery occurs and slips of paper saying ‘The truth will come out’ are everywhere, yet no one seems to be doing too much to stop it. Derek suggests that a rubber severed hand served as a lunch entrée was a publicity stunt. Kristy disagrees because Anne, the publicist, seems horrified by it all. Cynical adult me wonders whether Anne’s worried for the movies stars or whether she’s worried about losing her job…

The BSC members who aren’t on the mystery train show up for the first day of the country club to help man it. Mary Anne shows up looking like she stole her dad’s old clothes, which kind of makes me laugh. And Jessi’s wearing ‘reef runners.’ I had to Google that to see what they were.

Oh, and Claudia is teasing Mallory about her hat and cover-up and high powered SPF sunscreen. Mal does seem like the kind of person who would burn very easily in the sun—reddish hair, fair skin—but we all know it’s usually Mary Anne who has to cover up like that. (Mal says she’s worried about getting more freckles, though.)

Leave it to Karen to make sure everyone is following the pool rules. I have to admit, I was that kind of kid too, but I was never outspoken enough to boss my friends around.

The title quote is Kristy’s thoughts when their train car fills with smoke and they can’t get the door open. (It’s just a smoke bomb, but everyone’s majorly tense afterward…until Linny’s grateful it wasn’t a stink bomb and all the boys start laughing.)

I think the only reason Stacey is in on this mystery is because she’s up on Hollywood gossip in a way most of the BSC wouldn’t be.

Grr. Daniel, Todd’s little friend, is described as being stocky in passing when he first appears in the story. The first time Daniel actually gets to talk, he’s mad at his father because Mr. Pierce said Daniel couldn’t have any more ice cream. It’s more subtle than the BSC always mentioning how fat Norman is, but I still don’t like it. Later, when Daniel is upset after he witnesses someone allegedly going over the side of the train, his dad buys him by…getting him more ice cream.

“Next time you decide to witness a murder, could you wait until I’m around?” –Guess who

This is kind of weird. As I mentioned earlier, Mal, Jessi, Claudia and Mary Anne are supervising the kids at the opening of the country club pool. One of the kids hanging around the pool, waiting for it to reopen after lunch, is Ben Hobart. He keeps making jokes about barfing and teasing the kids. I’m wondering if the ghostwriter got the Hobart boys confused. James, the same age as many of the kids who were at the pool—Karen and friends, Charlotte, Becca, Jackie, Luke, etc—was with Derek on the train. Maybe they’ve confused Mathew, who would also fit into this age range, with Ben? Otherwise, there’s a good reason that Mal and Ben never got their pseudo-relationship off the ground.

Okay, I have a favorite scene in this book, for a very odd reason. Mal is putting on more sunscreen—SPF 60 this time, and waterproof. Karen becomes concerned that if the sunscreen is really waterproof, it will never come off and Mallory would be stuck with sunscreen on her forever! Normally, this would turn into Karen going off on a tangent and being obnoxious. When she starts, Mal shuts her down by pointing off that it will wash off with soap, so Karen’s story is moot. She then won’t let her keep talking about it. I now love Mallory.

Abby tells Kristy there’s an ocean of mystery about Jane Atlantic, and even Kristy thinks it’s her worst pun yet. Oh, and Abby thinks that Anne Arbour’s name is a horrible pun as well.

Why in the hell would the babysitters tell the kids—mostly eight year olds—about the alleged murder they witnessed? That’s horribly irresponsible.

You know someone’s got a lot of clothing on the train when even Stacey says that it’s too much clothing.

Why does everyone on this train leave their compartment unlocked? The babysitters take the seven older boys to do some illegal searches, and every sleeper compartment they go into is open, and no one is inside them.

Claudia spelling. Praty (party…she spells it right 4 out of 5 times), anemals.

At the pool party, there is a silly bathing cap contest, and earlier, Mallory notes that Jenny is wearing one. The only time I ever wore a swim cap when I was growing up was when I went to Girl Scout camp and had to wear one. I would have never worn one when swimming for fun.

Kristy thinks she’d like to be a movie director someday…because it would give her a lot of people to boss around.

I only have five more mysteries left to read: two Mary Annes, a Stacey, an Abby and a Kristy. As flat-out awful as some of these books have been, I’m sort of sad about that. (If I keep up this pace, I’ll be done with this blog by the end of the year. Expect a lot more awwwwww! Ultra-mega-sad-face moments out of me…)

Outfits

Stacey: ‘butter-colored’ linen shirt, chino shorts, cork-sole sandals

Claudia: red shorts, purple crop top, red and white muscle shirt, purple socks, red high tops, apple earrings; tie-dyed t-shirt knotted at the waist, flower sandals and barrette

Jessi: pink leotard, jeans; blue bike shorts and sports bra, red t-shirt, reef runners

Mallory: long sleeved shirt, shorts, sneakers, hat

Mary Anne: green Izod shirt, baseball cap with ‘Ted’s Tools’ on it

Next: #110

“Mom, Abby’s allergic to Stoneybrook.” BSC Portrait Collection: Abby’s Book (1997)

The story of Abby! Dum da dum! Heh, drama.

From Birth to Backpack: Abby as a small fry, looking identical to Anna but not acting identically

Red and Blue Just Won’t Do: In first grade, Abby and Anna’s teacher couldn’t tell them apart, so she makes them each only dress in one color

Without Dad: Abby’s dad dies in a car accident

The Shooting Star: Abby’s family goes on vacation to Florida, but they don’t spend any time together until Abby makes them enjoy each other’s company

New Places, New Faces: Abby’s point of view on moving to Stoneybrook

Interesting Tidbits

The cover: Abby’s actually kinda cute here. And according to the note on the inside of the book, that’s actually a real Aretha Franklin CD cover.

Abby says she doesn’t approve of forcing kids to write about their lives instead of living it. But we’re also talking about a girl who forgot she had to write a whole autobiography assignment until the weekend before it was due, so that explains a whole lot.

Anna is eight minutes older than Abby, but she walked a couple of hours earlier than Anna did. I would have thought, given their personalities, that Abby would have walked early and Anna would have chilled for a month or two until she decided to join her.

This is stupid. Abby’s parents knew they were having twins. They even knew they were having identical twins and that they were girls. But her parents were completely surprised by the fact that their twins arrived early. I would think that would be something they’d prepare for, since that’s pretty par for the course for twins.

Oh, Abby. She even makes preschool puns.

Abby hates that no one can tell her and Anna apart in first grade and calls them both Abby-Anna. Being five, she can’t vocalize what’s bothering her. You’d think that the kids would figure it out eventually, since even then, the two of them had completely different interests, but it’s not helped by the fact that the two girls insisted upon identical school supplies and insist upon wearing the same outfit. It’s the same story as the Arnold twins: twins with different interests and different personalities, who dress identically. Only difference? Mrs. Arnold made her daughters dress that way. It just never occurred to Abby and Anna that they could wear different clothes and still be twins.

I’ve always wondered when schools switched to allowing twins to be in the same classroom. When I was in elementary school, twins had to be separated so they would develop separate identities. I can see how that would be difficult for some twins, though, so I could see letting them stay together for a couple of years.

Abby and Anna switch colors so that Abby can prove no one can tell them apart. When their dad comes to school at recess, he can tell they’ve switched but goes along with their scheme. Unfortunately, the girls think their dad can’t tell them apart either, and it depresses them enough that they tell their parents what’s been happening at school

So, school starts after Labor Day where Abby lives, yet by October 15—six weeks later—there’s been enough time for a) everyone to confuse the Stevensons’ identities b) the two of them to wear their colors and c) the two of them to look different long enough that they establish separate friends who know their identities. Sure.

Abby and her dad have an ongoing joke about Abby rolling her eyes and saying how much she love meatballs. I’m not sure if there’s something I’m not getting or if it’s just a lame joke. (That’s actually the last thing she ever said to her dad before he died, so I have to wonder how long it took before she ever ate another meatball.)

Oh, and with all the pasta here—the spaghetti and meatballs Abby’s dad was going to make for dinner that night, the ziti casserole a neighbor brings over after hearing about the accident—all I can think is, isn’t Abby allergic to tomatoes?

Abby overhears her grandfather say that his death was instantaneous, so her dad didn’t suffer. I was Abby’s age when my grandfather died and no one told me anything, but I overheard stuff. A lot of stuff. Some of it made it harder to sleep and some of it made me easier. Honestly, looking back, I really wish someone had just told me straight up that he had a DNR and they’d pulled the plug, but I think they didn’t think I could handle it.

Even though this book is really lame, I found myself trying not to cry when Abby and Anna were talking to their mother. It had been a little more than a month since their dad died, and there was no food in the pantry, no dishwashing detergent, a house full of dirty dishes and full trashcans, and Abby admits she’s worn the same pair of socks for three days in a row. Abby says they need to pull the house together, and her mother says she needs to pull herself together. It’s sad because it’s actually realistic. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to lose a husband…never mind having to carry on for your daughters. Hard.

I like this: Abby’s family pretty well fell apart after her father died. This was partly because he was all about routine and traditions, and her mother couldn’t stand to follow those routines because they hurt too much. They got back into routines a couple months after her father died, when Rachel Stevenson decided to pull herself together for the sake of her daughters. But it took them several years to figure out that they needed to start new traditions as a way to honor their father and become a family again.

Abby’s friends from Long Island? Elvia, Jennifer and Joyce. I go back to the idea I had last week that the writers just started using a random name generator at some point and didn’t stop to think how many people named Elvia or Joyce were born in 1984. (This book: 1997. Abby’s friends: 13.)

Oh, and apparently all/most of Abby’s LI friends were also Jewish.

It’s so much more obvious in the Abby books how all these characters are so one-dimensional. When the Stevensons decorate their Stoneybrook house, Anna picks out a four-poster bed and flowery, Laura Ashley-esque wallpaper—a match for the types of clothes she is usually portrayed wearing—and is mostly concerned about where she’ll put her stereo and CD collection. Abby picks a traditionally-masculine wallpaper with tan and blue stripes and is interested in a fold-out couch for her friends to sleep on. At their going away party, their friends give Anna violin CDs and Abby a bunch of balls. It’s obvious through all this that Anna is very introverted while Abby is—duh—the extrovert of the two, and then of course, one likes sports and the other likes music….

Actually, I think it would be a lot more interesting if Abby, the outgoing, smart-mouthed one, dressed like a future nun and played the violin, while Anna, the introverted, quiet one, were into sports and dressed like she had no fashion sense.

Anna says the title quote, followed by, “We have to go back to Old Woodbury.” (Their mother reiterates that Abby also ‘has allergic reactions when she’s under stress.’ So she’s suggesting that Abby’s allergic to her emotions?

Abby acknowledges that she and Kristy have a lot in common, commenting how odd it was that Kristy seemed to like Anna better when they first met. She does admit that she was telling her crappiest jokes at the Thomas’ house when they spent the night there, but otherwise seems confused as to why Kristy was so opposed to her in the first place.

When Abby makes a really bad rhyme-pun, Kristy compares her to Vanessa. This is both awesome and awful at the same time. I can’t decide who should be more insulted, Abby or Vanessa.

Abby gets an A-. Didn’t some of the other girls get two grades, one for content and one for mechanics? I know Claudia did, because she got a decent grade for content and a lousy grade for mechanics like spelling.

Outfits

Five year old Anna and Abby: white t-shirts, green cardigans, black jeans; overalls and a yellow shirt (Abby); flower-print dress (Anna)

Nine year old Abby: jeans, turtleneck, cowboy vest

Next: #107

“Where do radiators come from? Well, first a mommy radiator and a daddy radiator have to meet…” BSC Mystery #25: Kristy and the Middle School Vandal (1996)

This one is a big ball of awesome sauce. Why? I’ll tell you why! Two words: Cary Retlin.

Okay, so the cover’s a little premature here, but there ya go. This is Cary’s first appearance on the cover. He’s got the same haircut as this boy I had a giant crush on, starting in fifth grade and ending sometime around high school graduation. He and Kristy are not only dressed alike, they’re also wearing Twin Hideous Expressions.

Kristy tells Cary to stop pranking, and in return, he challenges the BSC to a mystery contest. He gives them a series of clues that lead to another clue…if the BSC solves the mystery in a time frame, Cary will stop pulling pranks.

Meanwhile, the Mischief Knights (presumed but never proven to be Cary and possibly some friends) have ramped up their pranks, but something’s off. The new pranks are less mischievous and more criminal. Plus, instead of using red ink, a MK signature, these new pranks use green ink. Eventually it comes out that someone colorblind is using the MK name to commit these crimes. Cary has the BSC’s mystery contest lead to the identity of the fake knight.

In the B plot, the BSC sets up a ridiculous scavenger hunt for the kids.

Interesting Tidbits

Huh. Kristy’s the only short person in her family. She figures she’ll grow eventually, like a late bloomer. That’s an interesting perspective, considering there’s a lot of theory on Kristy being a sexual late bloomer as well. Or, you know, a lesbian. But in either case, the late bloomer idea would also be another explanation for her not needing a bra.

Hint #1: Abby, Kristy and Shannon are all sharing a hammock, just relaxing and having fun. Abby flashes back to #96, and the boy selling the study guides. Shannon: “Who’s Brad Simon? Is he smart? Is he cute?” Abby’s disgusted at Shannon’s naïve taste in men. Both he and another boy, Troy Parker, both got two week suspensions recently.

INNNNNNN-teresting: Apparently, the dangling plot-point of SM#2—the notes to Mary Anne and Logan—were actually written by the Mischief Knights. Would have been nice if they’d said that at the time.

Abby makes a Mischief Knight pun…and then a pun pun. “What you need to do, Kristy, is catch Cary red-handed. Get it?” “Are you calling me a punhead?”

I love how dismissive Cary is about the BSC and their mysteries. “Do you make citizens’ arrests, too?” He also calls them the babysitter detective squad and BSCPD, too.

Cary takes Kristy’s watch, and says if he wins the contest, he gets to keep it. Kristy’s upset about this, because it’s a ‘fun’ watch—digital, with a bunch of accessories on it. I’m thinking of one of my favorite books:

            Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the

            western spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun.

            Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an

            utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended

            life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches

            are a pretty neat idea.

Do you think Claudia even knows who Jerry Garcia is? Dawn, definitely. Abby (who said her mom used to love the Grateful Dead), sure. But Claud? She’s probably more familiar with Cherry Garcia.

I love how, every now and then, they throw out the fact that Mal likes to carry a briefcase. It’s weird, sure, but it’s also quirky.

In this book, Abby is described as ‘medium height’, while she was very tall in book #89.

I think this sums up the Abby-Kristy relationship right here: “Abby just won’t back down, even when I know I’m right.” You know Abby would basically say the same thing about her, too.

Claudia is talking with her mouth full and her speaking is described as ‘gummily.’ A) I love that term and B) spell check says it’s a real word!

Okay, BSC quiz time. Only those with a 100 percent score will be allowed to keep reading. Ready? Here we go.

            Who suggested which theme for the scavenger hunt?

1.    Jessi                     a. School

2.    Mallory                 b. Summer

3.    Abby                     c. Art

4.    Claudia                d. Sports

5.    Abby                     e. Famous Writers

6.    Mallory                 f. Dance

Clue # 1: Get your mother (understands). It leads to the gym, under the stands.

Fake MK incident # 1: A car that looks exactly like the vice principal’s bar the color is graffitied with green marker

Hint # 2: Troy Parker, the boy who got suspended with Brad, is in the gym. Claudia remarks on his bad color sense.

Clue # 2: First, it says ‘a clue’ on the envelope. Kristy says that makes Cary sarcastic, which I don’t quite get. But, here’s the clue: A drop of golden sun; just short of failing, a skater’s figure; not him, you see, but… (where does it all come from?) If you’re following that…it’s Re (Julie Andrews, y’all), D (not an F), 8 (figure eight as double four…), Her (not him): Radiator.

While they’re working that out, though, the club tries all sorts of ideas. They try to go The Sound of Music from the first bit, getting the first letter of each music note: drmfsltd. Unfortunately, it has no meaning…not even in ‘Claudia’s dictionary.’

The title quote is Abby’s take on the last piece of the clue. (Stacey determines they actually have to go to the boiler room.)

There’s this whole subplot relating to everything else about how the teachers will strike if an agreement can’t be reached soon. A member of the school board brings up the problems with the Mischief Knights as an example of why the teachers don’t deserve more money. It’s really just an excuse to set him (Mr. Oates, though Abby calls him Mr. Votes after they learn he wants to use the school board as a stepping stone to run for mayor) and a weird school custodian as suspects in the crimes.

Kristy decides that “The Clue in the Boiler Room” sounds like a Nancy Drew book. I snicker a little bit each time someone suggests their mystery is like a Nancy Drew or Claudia wonders what Nancy would do.

Clue # 3 is labeled le clue and reads “Toasted gloves or barbecued bats, anyone?”                                                      It’s a pretty obvious reference to the building that burned to the ground back in #74.

Fake MK incident # 2: the fire alarm gets pulled twice in one day.

Hint # 3: Troy is once again near the BSC while they’re outside in the aftermath of the fire alarm. Claudia and Stacey critique his outfit (‘Grunge is so over’) and Abby suggests he got it at a fire sale. This is both a really bad pun and an excuse for Troy to show up wearing hideous clothes again. Although, the custodian and Mr. Oates are both at the school at the time as well.

Kristy dismisses Cary as a suspect in the criminal MK acts, stating: “Cary was too sold in his own cleverness.” Basically, these acts were not Cary’s style. In my words, they didn’t have his sense of flair. (Later, he mentions that the acts lack subtlety, which is also true. Cary’s stuff is usually things that are more subtle and pretty harmless, like how he erases the answers on Kristy’s math homework.)

Here’s something for Mal to put on her resume: Experienced with charging herds of kids. It might be useful in some odd set of circumstances…maybe….

Mal and Stacey actually synchronize their watches before setting off on the first scavenger hunt.

Clue # 4: cafeteria hamburger + A Theory of Man and Woman - SMS on street = a fly on the wall of… It takes the BSC a while to work this one out. Stacey dominates this one, determining it’s numerical. Hamburger: $1.69. Theory’s card catalog number: 305. SMS: 358 Elm Street. That works out to classroom 116, where they find a giant photo of a fly.

Ha! The local newspaper runs an editorial about the vandalism in the school, followed by a bunch of letters to the editor. One of them is written by the same crotchety old man who complained during the whole Mischief Night Masquerade thingee.

Fake MK Incident # 3: A bathroom gets flooded

Mary Anne’s concerned that the green used by the fake Mischief Knights doesn’t fit their aura. Admittedly, she says it’s what Dawn would say, but it still sounds kind of funny. It does lead her to consider that it’s a frame up, someone trying to put the blame on the real Mischief Knights.

Clue # 5: “Nothing personal, Claudia, but check your spelling.” Claudia figures out it means the computer she used to use to write her personals column in #71. It makes her spell a bunch of words, including peculiar. “I think you should be able to spell peculiar any way you want to. It goes with the definition.” It leads them straight to…

Clue # 6: “B2 or not B2…that is the question. (Are you sitting down?)” This one takes the BSC a while, and threw me off entirely…because I’d read it Shakespearean out of force of habit (to be, not B2). It’s a clearly a reference to the aforementioned seat in the auditorium.

Funniest part of Kristy and Claudia in the newspaper office: The computer is giving the spelling test out loud. Kristy keeps waiting for Emily (the paper editor…remember?) to comment, but she waits until everything is over. Then she says she knows Cary is behind it because he came in and asked a bunch of questions about Claudia. This is presumably where he learns how bad Claudia’s spelling is, but Emily jumps to the assumption that Cary has a thing for Claud.

Ooh, remember how Abby referred to Jessi as Jessica in #96? In a joint notebook entry, Abby makes a really bad pun about dancing. In return, Jessi calls her Abigail.

The second scavenger hunt is sports themed, and one of the items asks for something that might be dirty on the court. Jessi’s team (the girls) decide on socks, so they go to that well-known local athlete…Mrs. Porter/Morbidda Destiny. Riiiiiight. Good plan.

Mary Anne says Dawn will be there for the summer, which sets up the last two Dawn books.

Clue # 7: Envelope reads ‘Clue—in case you hadn’t noticed.’ See why I love Cary? What a goof ball. Anyway, the inside says, “Hey Abby. IPA2tFotUSoAand2tR. (look up)” There’s also a drawing of four Harry-Pottery wizards. They don’t figure this one out right away.

Fake MK Incident # 4: The sets for the school play are trashed, right in front of Mr. Oates and the custodian, making them seem more suspicious

Ooh, I like this. The reporter for the Stoneybrook News is Ms. Bernstein. The editor for the SMS paper is Emily Bernstein. Think they’re related?

Kristy turns Cary into the principal after the BSC is caught at the scene of the crime in the auditorium. He shows up at Claudia’s during a BSC meeting to talk to Kristy. A) It’s funny that he knows when the BSC meets, but not entirely out of character. B) He gives her all his alibis for the Fake MK incidents, which is hilarious. First he states that he’s not able to telekinetically turn on faucets in the bathroom, then he offers to get a sworn affidavit from the sixth grader he was tutoring during the auditorium incident.

Is anyone surprised that Mallory spent an inordinate amount of time putting all the clues in the mystery notebook the night before? No? Me neither.

The first scavenger hunt featured Stacey and Mal; the second, Abby and Jessi. The third? MA and Claud. Which means…spelling! (It should be noted that earlier, during her spelling test, we only see Claudia’s spelling on one word: poetatoe.) Awsome, scavinger, realy, reserch, totaly, luved. She also spells Mary Anne wrong as well.

Here’s the problem with the scavenger hunt. There are points for how many items you can find, as well as how quickly you get back (the teams have an hour; lateness costs points) and also creativity. But the three different scavenger hunts have three different themes, so how can you compare stinky gym socks to a square of astro turf from a different list of clues? They do end up declaring a winner, but it’s silly and so subjective.

Back to the last clue: Once they start solving it—Abby takes this clue very personally, since it has her name in it—it should be pretty obvious. And it is. She figures out that USoA is United States of America (duh) and then both Kristy and Abby determine that the rest of the random letters/numbers are the Pledge of Allegiance. The four Harry Potters? Four Witches Stand…or, for which it stands. The clue is found on the flag in the homeroom Abby and Cary share.

Oh, and when Abby finds it, she reads, “Bring me the head of the false Mischief Knight!” But when I first read it, I thought she’d shouted it out loud, instead of that being the last clue. Can you imagine what kind of response that would bring from anyone else who happened to be nearby and had no idea what was going on? Not that Abby’s the type to shy away from that. I could even picture her cackling evilly afterward….

So I just spoiled the last clue for you, obviously. Kristy wonders whether Cary knows the identity of the false Mischief Knight, and if he does, would he turn the person in if the BSC doesn’t figure it out. “Or did he think going to school in the middle of summer was another one of those complications that make life more interesting?” I love it when they reference my favorite BSC line of all time.

It’s around this time that the BSC Mary Anne realizes that the fake Mischief Knight is colorblind, unable to tell the difference between green and red. It explains why the fake MK always writes in green instead of red, as Cary does, as well as mistaking a teacher’s green car for the vice principal’s red car of the same model. Claudia then makes the connection that it must be Troy, whose clothes never match.

Someone calls Mary Anne ‘Sherlock Spier’…and no, it’s not Abby. That’s more surprising than the nickname itself.

I like this: Even though they suspect Troy is the faux Mischief Knight, Kristy halts the group from going to the principal again…because she already turned in the wrong person once. Good to know Kristy has a conscience.

So, to get more proof, the BSC decides to…break into Troy’s locker. Because I know if I were the principal, I’d be swayed with some illegally gathered evidence. Now, kids do not have a right to privacy in their school lockers, but as a general rule, you can’t open just one person’s locker without some proof. Random locker checks—every locker in this hallway, for example—are acceptable, but you can’t target one person without proof.

Cary says the BSC needs him, because he keeps them from being complacent and boring. I looooooove (luv, maybe?) it. And to prove it, he papers Kristy’s locker with magazine perfume ads…the type that have a sample of the perfume.

Outfits

Nannie: overalls covered in dirt and grass, giant hat, gardening gloves (hee hee!)

Watson: ancient dirty khakis, giant hat, gardening gloves and pitchfork (but apparently, no shirt. Go Watson!)

Emily Michelle: Oshkosh overalls, sunbonnet.

Claudia: baggy white overalls, yellow, pink and green tie dye t-shirt, white socks with pink hearts, pink jellies, a ring on every finger, peace sign earrings, and a button with ‘Jerry Garcia lives’ on it

Stacey: black leggings, silver t-shirt dress, heart earrings, black and silver headband

Mrs. Prezzioso: ‘blinding’ tennis whites

Jenny: perfectly creased overalls, scallop-edged white shirt, red bandana around her neck, red lace-trimmed socks and white sneakers

Next: one of my favorites. It’s got my five favorite sitting charges, four of them in large doses. And, I’m pretty sure it’s the only BSC book to ever use the word FART! You have to love that, right?